Life is a maze and love is a riddle. ♥

Mmbutterflies. ♥

'Oh no you don't, don't you dare! Don't you let her! She's already too excitable'
Random woman in sainsburys, you're a hoot.
& speak the truth.

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging; you make me happy.
♫ The Show- Lenka.
Who Needs Love- Razorlight. ♫

♪ Teenage Kicks- Nouvelle Vague.

Ultra Violet- Stiff Dylans. ♪
♫ Your Song- Kate Walsh.

♥

Love from,

The she whom is excitable.

:D

You had me suicidal, suicidal. ♥

I've realised how much easier it is without you. How much happier I am, without you and your annoying girlfriend chipping at me. Yeah, you're still going to be there and I'm still going to have to face you and sometimes, I might even be forced to speak to you. But I will never speak to you out of choice. And when you come running back to us, after your perfect relationship doesn't last forever. I'm out. I'm not going to be your friend. I don't care what anyone else does or says, I am not giving in to you. You're a wreck, and you're the most whipped boyfriend I've ever seen. Grow a backbone. And have fun finding some friends when you're relationship fails.

It's christmas time, and it's hard but when you're having fun. ♥

AMMMMGGGGGGGGG!
I.
Am.
So.
Happy.
Like.
Ridiculously.
Happy.

What I got for christmas?

• Pandora bracelet, it has a bunny on it? AMAZE.
• Real uggs, that don't fit? Oh. Bummer. Send them back? Okay.
• A NO7 Light up mirror? Sick!
• Make-up? Just what I needed.
• SOCKSSSS!? I ♥ socks.
• Babygrow thang? Cuuute!
• Pj's? Cushty.
• Money? Omnom.
• 60 Jaffa cakes and pig pen that makes a noise and lights up from the best friend? Haha oh I love you.
• Earrings? Obsessioon!
• THE JOKER POSTER? FROM MY BROTHERS? I LOVE HEATH LEDGER. ♥
• DVDS? Yayyy!
• Sweeties? Tastyyy.
• -Insert cheesy statement here- Best present? Famalam. Of course.

I flipping love my family. Like hugely loads.
Fancy dress christmas?Hahaha, score!
Proper major best christmas ever. I love my family.. and extended family!

Mumma♥

Dadda♥

Chrissy♥

Mikey♥

Hevsy♥

Granny♥

Carol♥

Terry♥

Dave♥

Jean♥

Stan♥

Tehe, Love you all, thank you for making it special.
ENOUGH SOPPY-NESS.

Now for lying in bed, with my new PJ's watching Young Victoria :') and eating Jaffa Cakes from Jadeypoo's.
I love my life.
Cheers for the time. :')

Hope everyone had a sick christmas like myself.

xxx

You don't know how lovely you are. ♥

So tomorrow, my Nan's been gone for 14 years.

Tomorrow, I'm turning into Agnetha Faltskoy.
Tomorrow, I'm spending the day with 14 people of my lovely family, eating and having fun.
Tomorrow, I'm opening shit loads of presents.
Tomorrow, is Christmas day. And I can't wait.
Nanny, I wish I could've known you better.

I wish you hadn't gone so soon.
I wish you could still be here, to see how far everyone's got.
Always thinking of you. I know you're looking down on us.
I love you. ♥

My favourite object, P-U-S-S-Y, your hairy goblet. ♥

Remembering it's christmas TOMORROW.

So I'm speaking to some kid I mega love.
Watching Frankie Boyle.

Lying in bed.
Content.

Just like the world is our-our-our-our-our-ours. ♥

'I think about us way too much.'

Happy birthday to my mummy.

Happy birthday to my auntie Carol for tomorrow. 1 year from tomorrow and you'll be getting married! So amazing. Can't wait :)

Indian takeaway and sit in with my family tonight? I love it. ♥

Jack Junor-Graham; I love you.
Georgia Ratford; you've been nothing but amazing to me, you mean so much.

Jade Freeman; my best friend.

Ashleigh Walter; absolute babe, I know you're always there.

Alex Emery; we've been friends for too long, can't believe I haven't killed you yet! Aha, I love you :')

So stoked that christmas is in 3 days; can't wait!

Casual random blog there.

lovelovelove. ♥

I know you lie. ♥

I love how I find out from someone who's trying to get you in shit. I'd rather you told me yourself cheers.
And you? You don't appreciate me. This is clear. You really get on my nerves, I mean, you hardly ever think about anyone but yourself. I'm sorry but I've been there for you every time you've been knocked down. Can't exactly say the same for you, I hate the fact I'm saying this, because I love you, but sometimes I really feel used. And I can't deal with it. Not anymore.

I'm doneeee!

Say you love but you dont give me love. ♥

Not gonna lie,

you're always there.
Always in my mind.
I can't forget about you.

Sometimes I stop and think about, how lucky I am. ♥

WHAT A GORGEOUS WEEKEND.

Friday;

LIFE BOTB with Jade. See Geerat & uuthers.

Jade sleep over.

Saturday;
Chill with Jade in the morning, go to Jade's daddy and see Bubba Freeman. Go to Sainsburys. Get some boxes. Go back to mine. Make a present costume for myself. Jade sleepover again.
Sunday;
Go to The Wayz, to go for a walk. This walk was to raise money to help the new Cancer Clinic in Bracknell, with Alisha, dressed as a fat Santa, Jade, as an elf, Me, as a present. The pap get a picture of me, Alisha and Jade together to put in the Bracknell News. And then one with the odd 40 people that came. Go for the walk, through the 'Jungle' as Alisha called it. Come home. Go to sainsburys with Albal, go back to his, make cakes, chill on da Xbox. Go home and chill with Jade. Mm.

I loved my weekend. I wish for weekends like this every week, please?

AHHH SO CONTENT :3 ♥

When she says, when she says she loves me. ♥

Yuuh, that's kinda knocked me down a bit.

Hi 'If You Could Only See' on repeat.

Hi eating unreal amounts on fudge.

Hi drinking unreal amounts on coke.
Hi curling up in a ball and dying? That would be nice.

Hi content mood going to a ridiculously depressing mood. ♥

The shadow of the day, will embrace the world in grey. ♥

Mmm favourite songs:

• Boyce Avenue- If You Could Only See (Cover)
• Linkin Park- Shadow of the Day
• Boyce Avenue- Keep Holding On (Cover)
• Boyce Avenue- Shadow of the Day (Cover)
• Band Aid- Do They Know it's Christmas?
• Ellie Goulding- The Writer
  

Maaan, I love music.
B O Y C E A V E N U E ♥

I want to know if you love me, but I want you to tell me without me asking.

Done.

If you could only see the way she loves me, then maybe you would understand. ♥

So I recently made this. Not much, but it's how I'm feeling right now.I proper just want to put a cross through this.
Hate eeet!

on the plus side, also made this..

it also isnt much. But i likes it. I believe it.

I've been listening to a lot of Boyce Avenue covers recently. Because clearly they're beautiful. Check them out yee? Beautifully talented & beautiful voices.
Especially liking their 'If You Could Only See' cover. Originally by TONIC.
Boyce Avenue are probably the only people that haven't ruined the songs they've covered. I mean some of them, obviously the originals are better such as Wonderwall. But they're beautiful. ♥

Mucho love for the people that actually care;

Jade Louise Freeman.
Georgia Emily Grace Ratford.
Jack Andrew Junor-Graham.

I love you guys. <3

The club can't even handle me right now. ♥

So, today was average.
Shit day at school not gonna lie.
Then I heard, probably, the best thing I've heard this year.

My auntie, my second mum, the person that's always been there. Getting married you say? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 385 days from this very day and she will have tied the knot. Can't actually wait. And proper honoured that I'm in those 45 people who are 'close family.'
When she's not, technically, my auntie anymore.
I love her. Super loads, and to hear this means a lot to me, as I've been waiting for it for a while.

Can't actually wait, gonna be a beautiful day :3

Oh & to end that beautiful news, a gorgeous night with the crew at Black & White ball. Jade, beth, siobhan, sam, charlotte & georgia; thanks for making it amazing. But one thing could've made that better and also, I actually feel so crap right now. Feel sick, I feel a cold coming on that I cba to have, I'm fed up with this whole thing, and sometimes I can't be bothered with you. Hmm, meh. Fxck it, not letting it spoil a brilliant night :)

NIGHT FELLOW BLOGGERS.

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY EMMAAAAAAAAAAAAA

♥

How can I move on, when I'm still in love with you? ♥

I've put these lyrics as the title of another one of my blogs.
Funny how it's directed to the same person. [u]

Mmmoww. Not good.

:(

The sun, will set for you. ♥

Super feeling the love right now.

Gonna write a simple paragraph about a boy who means alot to me <3

Conwon: it's actually ridiculous how much love I have for you. I mean, talking to Ryan about you right now, has made me realise how much you actually mean to me. You are honestly absolutely amazing, and don't let anyone tell you different. I know you're going through a lot at the moment, but I really truly want you to be happy. I mean, you don't suit being sad. You're different to everyone else. Everyone else seem to keep their feelings locked up, but not you, you're so honest. You're special, unique, different. And that's why I like you. That's why I love you. Never leave me please? I am always here for you, if you want a rant, a hug or even just a shoulder to cry on, I'll be here. You're so thoughtful and with someone as sensitive as me, it means a lot. I can't explain you, you truly are amazing. My best friend. There's some people you just can't replace, one of them's you. I really do love you, boy! You mean the world x 1 million and more to me. ♥ I love you xxx

You're my anchor in life's ocean, but most of all you're my best friend. ♥

I'm going to dedicate this blog, to someone who is in desperate need of cheering up.

I honestly don't know how you manage to keep that smile on your face, whilst around people, but it is inspiring. With everything you're going through, I wouldn't be surprised if you were breaking down in tears everytime I saw you. Cheeky little quote from Leona Lewis here;

'it'll all get better in time.'

You are amazing. And I have never doubted the fact that you wouldn't be able to get through all this. Because I know you will. I know you will find a way, however hard it takes you, you'll make it, in time. Whether you have 1 person or 1 million people to support you, you will do it. But it's how important and how much those people mean to you, that will get you through it.

I love you gorgeous. And keep that smile, because whenever I see it, it lights up my day. ♥

Getting away from you, ya selfish. ♥

So I don't usually write blogs about people I dislike.

But this is the place I can tell my opinion, and I don't think that should stop me. But writing blogs about your best friends? That's when it gets bad.

I'm really not fond of you, I mean, that's clear. But I don't know anyone, and I mean anyone, who's actually got on with you. Yeah, you'll talk to people, but that doesn't mean they like you.
You think they like you? Seriously, they don't.
I'd like to start with your boyfriend. My ex-best friend. The one who I could tell everything to.
The 5 of us. Not you. It was US. It was us against everything. We were best friends.
We made him, who he is today. He didn't even speak one word before we starting becoming friends with him. But the main person you have to thank? Jack. He practically made him.
And the fact that you stop him from seeing us? You cry and shout at him when he speaks to me? You're seriously that pathetic? I am not in love with your boyfriend. I don't know how much clearer I can make that. I never have been. And if he speaks to me, that doesn't mean that we're going to fall madly in love with eachother. You need to grow up. You're not going to get anywhere by being like this. You're a disgustingly horrible person, generally. You say every single month that you've changed, but everyone knows thats never going to happen. You're never going to change. You're always going to be your bitchy, lifeless, disgusting self. So deal with that, and get over the fact your boyfriend is not your fxcking pet. Or carry on like this and have no-one. Because considering you have 2 friends, one of them being your boyfriend, you need to seriously start thinking about that. And soon enough? Soon enough you'll lose him too. Your 'perfect' boyfriend. Oh and one more thing? Don't bitch about people you simply use, especially not to their best friends. She does not deserve that. You selfish, horrible bitch.

rant over.

It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside. ♥

Dear KatyLou,

You are most beautiful and amazing. I am writing this blog about you because you pretty much threatened me and pushed me against the wall. This was not out of choice. Muaha! I joke my lovely. But honestly, I trust you with everything. I've known you for 2 years now, and we've been amazing friends from the start. It doesn't matter if you're my brother's girlfriend, because I know you trust me. And I trust you too, so much. You and Chris are super cute together, and I want you to get married and have babies. Preferably name one after me okay? Considering I'm the best sister in the world. But I honestly love you. Never leave me. And I'm always here whenever you need a chat. Lalalove you.
Love your sister,

Emmy

♥

You change your position and you are changing me. ♥

you are beautiful.

you are amazing.

you are unique.

you are outgoing.

you are hilarious.

you make me smile.

you make me happy.

you like me for who I am.

I can be myself when I'm around you.

I can't help but love you.

I'm stuck in the middle of wrong and right. ♥

I don't know what to do.
I know this'll no-doubt-about-it wreck our friendship.
But I hate keeping this bottled up.
I'm sorry.

High above the mucky muck, castle made of clouds. ♥

Frosted shreddies & georgia ratford = ♥

So I know I've spoken about this beautiful girl a few times recently.
But she really does mean alot to me.

She's the only one that truely understands me.
She's one of the 2 people I can honestly trust.

And to be honest, she is my best friend right now.

& I completely, definitely, 100% love her.

Whatta bagel. <3333

Her eyes, her eyes make the stars look like they're not shining. ♥

so there's this girl.

this strange, crazy, amazing, stunning, cute, hilarious, absolutely beautiful girl. she's the most understanding, unselfish and amusing girl i've ever come across. i can't explain her. she's too amazing to describe in words. and yeah, i've known her for a couple of weeks. but she is most definitely one of my best friends. every moment i speak to her i'm happy and she constantly makes me laugh. she comes out with the funniest things. and even though most of our memories come from msn conversation's; they are amazing and some to remember. so, i see her once a week. but i'm consistently happy after seeing her. i talk to her everyday; this makes me super happy. a thing to look forward to after school. she's ridiculously amazing and i don't think you could find a more amazing person then this girl. i look forward to our memories that are to come. i love her so much, more then cookies & jonny craig. and that is rather alot.
georgia emily grace ratford; you are drop dead beautiful and effing amazing. I ♥ you so much

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea. ♥

The word 'jealousy' comes to mind.

Selfish bitch.

Cos I'm no ordinary girl. ♥

So I suppose I'm not your average-stereotype-14 year old girl.

I don't follow the crowd.
I do what I feel is right. And I'm starting to like it that way.

-I don't drink.

-I don't smoke.

-I don't go out till silly-o'clock.

-I don't wear these 'trendy' brands.

-I don't listen to club and r'n'b music.

-I don't have sex with anyone I can get.

-I don't use friends just to backstab them.

-I don't take pictures of myself in a crop top.

-I don't wear mini-skirts and bright pink bra's.

-I don't get my boobs out at any occasion I can.

-I don't talk to millions of boys just to lead them on.

-I don't dye my hair just to fit in with everyone else.

-I don't pretend to like people, just to be liked myself.

-I don't purposely take a picture of myself with a bottle of alcohol.

-I don't write purposely miss-spelt statuses to pretend I'm drunk.

I don't want to be in that stereotype.

Not to say anyone who take's a picture of themselves in a crop-top is a bad person.

But that's the 'fashion.' That's what everyone's doing.

And not to say that any of those things make you a bad person. But it's a stereotype. A 14 year old girl? You instantly think of that stereotype. But I want to be different.
I'm not a sheep. (More of a pig)

But I'll tell you what I am, I am unique.
Whether it's a good unique, I don't have a clue.
But I do know that I just don't fit into the category of 'slutty-smoking-drinking-pissups-teenage-girls.'
That's it.

Sorry for the rant, the huge bitchy rant. But this is how I feel. ♥

Consider yourself one of my best friends. ♥

Time for some shout-outs me thinks.

Georgia 'the beautiful bagel' Ratford;
Pretty sure you're the only one who gets me. Means a lot that I can turn to you and say anything I feel. And people are probably like 'rahrahrah, you've only known her for 2 weeks.' Urr do I care? Doesn't mean you can't be good friends. There's always a beginning to a friendship, why can't it be after a couple of hours? I seriously can't explain you. You're actually amazing, beautiful and hilarious. I've told you everything about myself, and I didn't even hesitate. I trust you with basically everything I have. I don't think I've laughed so much in my whole life, for the 2 weeks I've known you. My bagel. My special bagel. I wouldn't mind a quick munch of you, Tess ♥ I love you.

Jade 'The ginger one' Freeman;

Oh Jade! How I adore our memories. Even thinking about them makes me smile. You're super amazing. And I can't say to you how much you mean to me. It's too much to put into words. You're beautiful, unique and always up for a laugh. This makes me happy. You're so different to everyone else and I know that for a fact. That stupidly idiotic kid? He never deserved you and you know it. I know it's been a while now, but it still pee's me off about the way he treated you. No-one deserves that, especially not you. You'll find the right guy and you know it. Chin up beautiful! My best friend ♥ I love you.

Connor 'Jeremiah' Langham and Jack 'Chocolit' Junor-Graham;

What babes. No other way to describe you. You have such dirty minds, which overall is a good thing because as do I. You two make me laugh so much. You guys are the people that keep me smiling at school. Without you I'd def be an emo. You boys are the best I have ever met. And that won't change. You both deserve someone super amazing. Maybe eachother? (LOL @ the Mamma Mia conversation.) But seriously, you guys are unreal ♥ I love you.

Ashleigh 'Veruca salt' Walter;

Best quote from you? 'I don't want that. You can give that to someone else. I want a golden snitch!' LOL. You're so funny. And most definitely the most immature 17 year old I have ever met. Making fun of the lady dancing? Laughing at those tall slutty girls? Bitching about stupid pathetic girls? That's our memories right there. You're seriously amazing. And you and timoth are majorly cute! I'm def coming to your wedding.. okay? ♥ I love you.

You guys are everything ღ

Living in freedom everyday. ♥

I probably have different views to some of the people that attend LiFE at Kerith. But I know for a fact that it is inspiring. Whether I believe everything they say or not. I know that I respect them.
Which is more then some of the people that go just to create fights. But I like going there. It's amazing how just one person can get 400 young people in one room and to be silent for half an hour. And it's crazy how many people really do devote their lives to God. I really do respect people like that. People who believe what they want to and not what their friends want them to. It's two and a half hours to basically relax with your friends. And for them to do that for free? Is amazing.
People like this inspire me.

People like this are the ones to admire.

People like this really do believe in everybody.

♥

Baby you're a firework. ♥

Mad-hatter, anyone?

Do you care if I don't know what to say? ♥

You put on a happy face and you think to yourself that everythings gonna be alright. But you know you don't feel like yourself. When everyone thinks you're happy, you're not. All you want is for someone to realise that you're not feeling great but not ask you whats wrong, just for them to give you a huge hug. And you pretend that all you want for them is to be happy, but really you just wanna be happy yourself.

I hate it. I hate not being the 'Emma Cooley' everyone knows as being hyper, always smiling, happy and the weird one. I love being labelled as that, don't ask me why, but I do. What I don't like is feeling like the opposite of that, but putting on a happy face to make other people think you're like normal.
I'll put on a smile at school. I'll try to act like what I act like normally. But then I get home. I get home and I know I can just show my feelings. Whatever they are. And I sit there. I sit there staring into space, just thinking. Thinking about how things could be, then coming out of the trance and facing reality. Getting up in the morning, going to school and pretending to be the person I'm not again. The person I usually am, but right now, it's like someone's taken my soul out and replaced it with a potato. Lifeless. Completely and utterly lifeless. It's crazy.
But I want to be happy. I suppose being at school does make me happy, because trying so hard eventually makes it real. I try so hard that I feel like normal. I just act as if everythings normal, even for a minute. But then, it hits me. It hits me that I don't feel like me. I don't feel like Emma Cooley 'the weird, hyper, smiley, happy' one. I feel like Emma Cooley the robot clone.
Someone make me happy? I'll love you forever.

Someone make me feel like Emma Cooley? I'll love you forever.

Someone make him realise that I'm here? I'll love you forever.
Someone make my best friend realise that I love her? I'll love you forever.

Someone make him realise that it can't be like this anymore? I'll love you forever.

Someone make my best friend acknowledge the fact I know her better then anyone? I'll love you forever.

They got nothing on Georgia babe. ♥

So I decided to dedicate this blog to my dear bagel, Georgia Ratford.

Why you say? I'll tell you why, and it's because she's an awfully special bagel.

Probably one of the only people I can relate to.

It's seriously weird how much we have in common.

I've known you for like an hour, not literally but basically it is, but I know like everything about you already.

I have mega love for you, you absolute beaut!
Sorry this is short, but I cba ya`know? Got revision to do. I'm not gonna have a Mum over my shoulder in the exam so duck off [MEGALOLZ @ this inside joke bbe ]

I love you Georgia Emily Grace Ratford ;) ♥

We're perfectly imperfect. ♥

So today was average. Woke up at half 11.

To the sound of my mum screaming.
Went downstairs and my mum & brother were watching some seriously disturbed programme called 'Walking Dead.' Seriously disgustingly weird.
Nice thing to watch whilst eating my breakfast.

I later decided to do something with Leemar.
Bowling? okay. Let's go.
Got there. Packed and ridiculously expensive for something that would last 20 minutes.

Cinema? sorted.

Time now: 14:30
The Social Network? 14:40? Looks good? Lets go.
17:00.. Well that was disappointing.

Extremely disappointing.

Roast dinner tonight? Get in my life.

For you? I don't know why I'm still tied up on you. I know nothing's going to come out of this. I'm sorry. :)

Happy Emmaaa!

until next time. ♥

And I love you when you say my name. ♥

I'm starting to love weekends where I don't have anything planned.

Where I can just lay in bed, eating and drinking (of course), watching movies or crappy day-time tv and blogging.

So today?

• Laying in bed.
• Eating & drinking; maoams, doritos, coke.
• Watching movies or crappy day-time tv; Meet the parents, Raise your voice, Natalie Cassidy: Becoming Mum.
• Blogging; Here I am.

I actually like Natalie Cassidy.

She's so original. She's so honest. And all she wants is to get on with life, like any other person.
She's just one of those people you grow to like.
I hate paparazzi.

Every celebrity is human. So what if they look rough one day of their life. You can't expect them to wear make-up and do their hair perfectly just to take a trip to sainsburys to grab some milk? Fair enough get yourself in the celeb world, and you've got to prepare yourself for them. But why can't the paparazzi just fuck off out of people's private life? It's ridiculous.

I love my life.

It's actually going amazing right now. Fair enough I feel shitty every here and there but it doesn't matter because I know that's only hormones, considering I don't even know what I feel shitty about. I know who my true friends are, I know who I can trust, I know who I need and I know who I don't. I am content. Content with life. Content with everything. I am me.

until next time. ♥

Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones. ♥

I'm determined to be positive from now on.
I'm a happy person.
And I'm pretty sure this is ruining that.

I love making people smile and that is what I shall continue to do.
I love my life.

♥

I still believe it's you & me till the end of time. ♥

I love days like these.

Days where I can sit there, relaxing and not worrying about anything.
So right now, I'm listening to probably my favourite band right now, Biffy Clyro, drinking a cup of tea whilst lying on my bed in my official favourite t-shirt, my Streetfight Silence one.

Couldn't be more simple then that.

Hi retarded picture haha!

I ♥ this though.
Hahahappy blog for once (:

Good day fellow bloggers xxx

'Cause when my back is turned, my bruises shine. ♥

I suppose I'm having a lovely half-term.. so why aren't I as happy as I usually am?

Honestly majorly fed up with this. On a happy note, I majorly love my friends.
Jade Louise Freeman:
You, my beautiful, are completely and utterly amazing. My best friend in the word. There is no-one whom of which has crossed this earth that I trust, apart from you. I trust you with absolutely everything I have. You are such an unreal best friend. I love you so much. I never expected a ginger to be so amazing(:

Connor Langham:
I don't really know what's going on at the moment, but whatever happens I'll always be here. We have had some amazing times. And I know that you're one of the best people I've ever come across. I love you so much Connor. Forever & always, whatever happens.

James Siffre:
Haven't really spoken to you for that long, but I already know that you're insane. I really want you to cheer the hell up dude! You're amazing and it's not worth it to let this bring you down. I shall be here for you, whenever you need a chat. I love you(:

Lovelovelove.

I ish tired, so enough blogging for me for one night.
I'll blog again tomorrow.

If I remember.

♥

Before our hearts decide, it's time to love again. ♥

Recently I haven't really had that much to talk about in my blogs.

I've been so depressing recently, that I can't stand to be like this any longer.

I want to be myself, ya know? So this is where I say a massive 'fuck it' to this.
This isn't like me and I'm starting to hate it.
So bring on me being happy again! :)

and to you, in the beautiful words of Leona Lewis:

Even if you cannot hear my voice,

i'll be right beside you dear.

Trying to take it back before it all went wrong. ♥

I'm done. There's no point in even trying anymore.
Enough of that, I want to dedicate this blog to the people that have been there always.

Christopher: the best brother in the whole world? Most definitely! You have always been there when I've needed you most. You're the person I will always turn to when I'm down, for a hug. You're the one I will forever support. I love going to your gigs, not only because I love your music but because I love seeing you on that stage and thinking to myself 'that's my brother up there.' I am so proud of you, and I know it sounds weird because you'd expect that from parents or something, but I truely am. I love you Chris. And I will always be here whenever you need a chat or someone to make fun of. You're amazing and don't let anyone tell you different.
Heather: you're blatently the best cousin of all time! You're hilarious and you know just what to do to cheer me up. You're always there, when I need a chat to cheer me up or a simple walk to get out of the house. You living near me helps of course;) It's ridiculous how much I missed you when you went travelling! Never leave me for that long again, okay? You're most beautiful and amazing. I love you!

Auntie Carol: you inspire me so much. You're so childish and immature, and you know how to make me laugh. Everyone I know that's met you thinks your amazing, because you are. You're beautiful in every single way and I couldn't wish for a better person to be there for me. I'm so proud of you for what you've done over the past year, all on your own. No-one deserves what you've been through, but definitely not you. I don't have a clue how you done what you did, but I admire you for it. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so ridiculously much.

I'll finish this off another time, not extremely up for it right now.

♥

You say 'I love you boy' but I know you lie. ♥

"Everyone has a crush on someone who doesn't like them back, you just gotta suck it up and move on."

;Mitchel Musso ♥

I wish everything could back how it was, I'm such an idiot for messing this up.

How can I move on, when I'm still in love with you? ♥

So, woke up in the middle of the night, not being able to breathe.
Stupid cold.

I then started coughing, continually.
This hurt my throat, mega amounts.

I drunk a bottle of water.

Didn't work.

I then started to gag.
I then fell asleep.
And didn't get up until 10 o clock.
Guess i'm not going to school today.

Hello lazy day being ill.
Now i'm watching 'Love Happens' for the 4th time, because clearly it's a beautiful film.
Talking to the lovely Connor Langham, as he also has an illness.
And waiting for my lazy arse of a brother to get up so he can take Mac for a walk and get me some Lucozade.

♥

When a heart breaks, no it don't break even. ♥

• I've let you down.
• I don't understand you.
• You haven't done anything wrong.
• I hate you.
• I love you.
• I need you.
  
  ♥

Misguided ghosts, travelling endlessly. ♥

Cba making other people happy when i can't even make myself happy.

What am I supposed to do, when the best part of me was always you? ♥

Stuff my blog from a week or so ago.
I love you.

♥

Friends forever, means friends stick together. ♥

My two best friends in the whole entire world. <3

Connor 'Jeremiah' Langham: you are probably one of the most interesting people i've ever met. Everytime i see you, you have something different to tell me. If we were stuck in a room together, it wouldn't matter, because we could talk forever. We've only known eachother for 3 and a half months, but it feels like a lifetime. I know you so well, it's unreal. And you know practically everything about me. I know that i can tell you anything and i know i can trust you with my life. I will always be here for you, you mean so much to me. You are completely and utterly irreplaceable, there's seriously not the right word to sum you up in. Because you are just too many amazing things. I would never ever be able to cope if i lost you, you are basically a part of me. We've never had one argument, yeah we've probably been off with eachother at one point, but no arguments what-so-ever. You are honestly worthy of the most beautiful, amazing and perfect girl in the whole world. And honestly? You're insane at singing, boy! You are so amazing, I love you so much, Connor. I honestly do. Best friends always.

Jade Louise Freeman: for you? I could talk forever about you. We have so many memories it's unreal. I know we may not act like the best of friends in school, but you're the only person i do stuff with out of school ( ;) ) which to me, makes you my best friend. You are ridiculously intriguing. It's like 'What's Jade going to do next?' Paha. No but you are so amazing. And whatever stupid little girls say, you will always be beautiful. You could never be replaced, gorgeous! Our memories are the most precious memories i could ever have. Every moment i spend with you, you make me laugh. I love you so much Jadeypoo's. Best friends forever and ever and ever. <3

I need you, more than anybody else has needed anyone before. ♥

You make me giggle by doing the smallest things.

You make me get those silly little butterflies when ever you're around.

You make me feel like i'm the only person in the world.

You make me instantly smile whenever i see you.

You make me feel like i can be myself around you.

And this makes you perfect.

♥

Tell me, who are you? ♥

I hate how pathetic you're being about this. You seriously need to grow the hell up and think about your age. You make me sound like a complete and utter bitch, how do you actually think that makes me feel? It's ridiculous how reluctant I am to keep you as a friend, but you just throw it back in my face. I am fed up with you, you put me through so much shit and then expect me to just apologise. But even when I do apologise, you don't care. What more do you want me to do? Get down on my knees and beg? Because I'm not going to do that. I am not going to obey your every need. I am not your dog, I may look like one, but I'm sure not going to stand for being treated like one. From now on, when you're the one in the wrong, you can apologise. I'm not getting myself worked up because I've lost you, like I usually do. Because I can't do anything more then apologise. You know, I really do love you. But I'm over this. Until you find enough guts to apologise to me. Because I've said sorry to you, even though I think you're in the wrong.

And I know you don't like arguing, but why when I say sorry.. do you carry it on? Yes, I'll say it again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for being an absolute idiot, and treating you like shit. But I can't put up with this anymore.

until next time. ♥

You are so beautiful to me. ♥

My best friend.
I'm always here for you.
As you are for me.
You are so amazing.
No-one could ever replace you.
I love Mister Connor -JEREMIAH- Langham. ♥

Oh words cannot express how much you mean to me. ♥

Some people need to grow the hell up. I'd like to say a few things that i've wanted to say for a while.

1. What the hell is wrong with you? Everything you do pisses me off. You do realise you've ruined everything for everyone you've ever come across. You're like death but in a person. You really need to sort your life out, and get the hell out of Bracknell. I could kick you straight in the face, seriously. Everytime I see you it makes me cringe. You are so ridiculously pathetic. I'm pretty sure everyone you've ever been friends with, you've upset and lost. You seriously need to think about it and take a look in the mirror when you call people two faced and 'bitches.' I hate you. You're the only person that I could actually say I hate. No-one likes you, apart from your.. whole 2 friends? Get over yourself, you self indulged twat.

2. I don't understand you. You're so hard to get through to. Thats all.
3. I can't believe what you do to yourself, I'm right here but you resort to people you can't trust and rely on. I've been here all along, I just want you to see that. I love you so much, and you're so amazing. You just need to realise that those people don't deserve you. I'm always here, I promise you.

Bit of anger there. But it's all the truth.
I hate having to resort to blogger to bitch about people, but it's exactly what you do.
Next time come to my face, and I'll have alot to say to you.
And for Connor Langham, Jade Freeman and Alisha Harney? I frigging love you guys. My everything? My everything indeed.
On a plus side, Legoland with the big bro tomorrow! Bring it onnn!

until next time. ♥

Wake me up inside, save me from the nothing I've become. ♥

I do love my friends, just a tiny bit.

looking forward to a beautiful weekend.

tomorrow: k2 with Jade Louise Freeman, then her probably sleeping over.
saturday: Shiv's party with Jade Louise Freeman once again.

sunday: Hello lazy day! bring it on!

Short, but sweet.
I love my life, my friends, my family.

until next time. ♥

She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart. ♥

I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love blogging.

I love playing netball.
I love The Simpsons.

I love Family Guy.

I love music.

I love Jonny Craig.

I love Matt Barnes.

I love Facebook.

I love curly hair.

I love Taylor Swift.

I love Waterloo Road.
I love chocolate.

I love America.

I love potato waffles.

I love playing guitar.

I love going to gigs.
I love Disney.

I love cuddling pillows.

I love chequered shirts.

I love sucking my thumb.

I love gingers.

I love being who I am.

I love blue biro's.
I love coca cola.

I love pepsi.

I love icecream with lemonade.
I love daim bars.

I love shakeaways.
I love starbucks.

I love pyjamas.

I love cuddles.

I love the cinema.

I love drawing.

I love TV.
I love my laptop.
I love ribena.
I love blue eyes.

I love red cheeks.
I love Spotify.
I love strawberries.
I love Terry's Chocolate Orange.
I love summer fruits and sparkling water.

I love performing.
I love sleeping.
I love my bed.
I love teddies.
I love Biffy Clyro.
I love Yma6.
I love ADTR.

I love The Script.
I love Emarosa.
I love Deaf Havana.

I love James Veck-Gilodi.
I love life.

and well.. thats me :)

until next time. ♥

Woaaah, living on a prayer. ♥

I wish i could turn back time. I would change so much.
I would never of let you meet.
I wouldve treated you so much better.
I wouldnt of pestered you.
I wouldve let you love me for longer.
I wouldve been happy.
I wouldve changed myself sooner.
I would be completely different.
If only i had the power.
Im in such a depressing state at the moment.
It's so unlike me.
I'll put on a smiley face, but deep down, i'm breaking.
I hate this.
Let me be happy again.

until next time. ♥

Smiling but we're close to tears. ♥

I honestly can't stand people like you.

I don't understand how two-faced you can actually be.

It's ridiculous.

Have a little bitch here and there i suppose is acceptable, but not your idea of a bitch.
Sometimes I just wish people like you, could realise what you're doing.
Anyone can tell you how idiotic you're being.
You either dislike them, or like them. You can't drop the C-bomb about them and still like them.
It's ridiculous.

You don't even deserve my typing.
The only word to describe you is, pathetic.

On a happy note, loving The Script recently. ♥

Over the past two days i've written a song; just guitar chords and lyrics. But I like it. It's only 3 minutes long. And it's not exactly chart-like music. But it's about something I feel strongly about, so I don't care.
I love blogging.
I love music.
I love friends.
I love family.
I love going to gigs.
I love playing guitar.
I love my life.

until next time. ♥

Before you leave please close the door. ♥

The Person You Like & Why You Like Them.

With all honesty, I'm not one of those people who just have the guts to blurt out who they like, so don't expect me to tell you.

But I like him because:

• He's unpredictable, outgoing, hilarious, lovely, gorgeous, he intrigues me, he never fails to amaze me and he gives me those silly butterflies whenever he's around.

5 Things That Irritate You About The Opposite Sex/Same Sex.

Woah this gives me something to rant about.
Opposite Sex:

How up their own arses some boys can be.

How some boys lead you on, only to let you down.

How thoughtless some guys can be.
How some guys only think about themselves.

How some boys don't let you know how they're truly feeling.

Same sex:
How BITCHY girls can be.

How TWOFACED girls can be.

How when one person tells you you're ugly, you will get upset. MAN UP! they don't mean anything.
How ridiculously jealous girls can get, when they like a boy. Get over it, it's their lives.

How they make out like ALL boys are dicks. Some boys are different, just gotta find the right one.

You may have seen this blog before i edited it.
But these are the only 2 questions that i actually care about.
So here you go.

until next time. ♥

You've stood by me girl. ♥

I'd like to dedicate this blog, to my beautiful best friend.

I don't even know how to explain you, words cannot describe.

You are the only person i could trust my whole life with.

You are the only person i know will be there, through thick and thin, if anything goes bad.

You are the only person i can count on, 24/7, to cheer me up.

You are the only person that i can call my BEST friend.

I promise you, that whatever happens, whatever goes wrong, or right, i will be here for you. Standing there, waiting for you.

You are the most amazing, hilarious, outgoing and quite frankly unpredictable best friend, anyone could wish for.
I'm so lucky to have you.
Sometimes, i sit and think about how our friendship started off.
The first time you came round my house.
The first time i went to yours.

The first time we went out together.
The first time i felt like i had a true best friend.

And still, here you are, by my side. Through everything.

Enough of the soppyness, i've got to break it to you;

You're ginger:)

Jade Louise Freeman, I love you. So, so much.

until next time. ♥

We weren't in love, we were too young. ♥

I am sick of people saying they're in love.

Please, call me a hypocrite, because quite frankly, i always say i love people.
But if i'm honest, i've never been in love with someone.
I am 14 for god sake, fair enough, there is a possbility that you will be together for years.
For instance, my parents. When my mum was 11, my dad was her brothers best friend, and he was 16. So obviously they saw a lot of eachother. My mum had this cute little 'crush' on him. And obviously, having a 5 year age gap, they couldn't go out. When my mum was 17, and my dad was 22, my dad asked her out on a date. And here they are now. So from my mum fancying my dad since she was 11, i think it's mega cute. But in reality, that is a 10000000 to 1 probability. What if my dad had stopped being friends with my uncle? It's crazy how one little thing could've changed everything.
Let's be honest, it's not likely that the boyfriend/girlfriend you have now will be your partner in lets say, 25 years, is it?
I know, Ashleigh Walter (click the link for her splendid blog) posted a similar blog, but it was just when someone mentioned it to me, and it really made me think.
From now on, instead of an 'I love you'.
I'm gonna stick with the 'I like you'.

Until i really know.
And if i do say 'I love you' and you don't think i mean it, refer back to this blog. Just to prove me wrong.
I'll end this with a question:
Are you really, deeply, madly in love with them? Or is it just a crush?
Think about it.

until next time. ♥

Lets go all the way tonight, no regrets just love. ♥

Oh today was so amazing.
One of the best days in a while.

Thorpe park with three of my closest friends.

For a 7 hour day you wouldve thought we wouldve done more then 6-7 rides.
But i suppose it's pretty good. As we went on most of the best rides;

- X:/no way out (x2). me being too fat so alex nearly dying on the drop (:

- Rush. the dude that pretended he was a sleep was the absolute MAN :')

-Nemisis. me and jack weren't allowed on with our shoes off :(

-Colossus. the corkscrews and me and durbz screaming. ♥

-Saw. me and jack literally laughing all the way round, and queuing up for it with the gunshots and the weird lady behind us doing jigsaw impressions :D

-And of course vortex, but me and durbz just sat and watched :3

Had some mega good laughs, mostly with Jack Junor-Graham. And mostly on the rides.
Oh he makes me chuckle. Constantly laughing all round the tracks.
I love you Emma Louise Durbridge, Alex James Emery and Jack Andrew Junor-Graham.
Want a longer name Jack? Muaha. You guys seriously made me haphap today.
Thank you for taking us Alex, hope you enjoyed your birthday with us even though we are probably the craziest people you could've taken.
We love you and you know it ;)

until next time. ♥

I promise I will stay here all along. ♥

I just want to forget everything for a while, and know that no one can ruin my happiness.

I just want to scream right now, scream as loud as i can, without anyone complaining.

I just want to remember that the people i have in my life now, are there for good.

I just want to remember who i really am, and not to get caught up in this.
I just want to make you realise, you are my best friend, i promise.

I just want to feel like the blame isn't always on me.

I just want to be noticed by you.

and most importantly,

I just want you to realise,

we're the ones who stuck by you,

and we are the ones that will stick by you,

when everything doesnt go as perfectly as planned.

haven't written this for a while:

until next time. ♥

Can anybody hear me? ♥

I love Jack Junor-Graham. ♥

Lucky theres a family guy. ♥

Not gonna lie, there's just a few people i would happily shoot in the face right now.

On a happy note; Beautiful 3 days.
And tomorrow with my beautiful best friend :")
So thursday. had a half day and decided to take a trip to town with ol' Jadeykinsss.
Went in, and went straight to Cafe Néro. Tis the place to be!

Then we went for lunch at McDonalds.
And then just chilled.
Went into Risky, which was very risky of us. and I bought Jade a mega cute dress for a startling £3.

Beautiful day? i think so.
Yesterday, walked home to mine with durbridge. Bitched about people to my mother, then got a lift back to durbs' with my stuff.

Just chilled and then had a rather eventful night with some stupidly stupid people.
But it was funny.
Carried on a beautiful argument until the early hours.
And then carried on when we woke up.
It was gorgeous. :")

Then me and durbridge got picked up by my mumma and we went to south hill to take some pictures.
Some of them honestly turned out so good.
As you can see beautifully placed below.

And that's just 3 out of the 27 Miss Emma Durbridge uploaded. If you would like to see the rest of them click here.

And don't forget to click there. For Emma Durbridge's blog.

And here for Miss Jade Freemans.

I love Jade Freeman.
I love Emma Durbridge.
I love Jack Junor-Graham.
I love Caitlyn Allen.
I love Ashleigh Walter.
I love Alisha Harney.

I love Josh Hewlett.
I love Connor Langham.
I love you. ♥

Toodle-oo. Family guy's awaiting me:)x

until next time. ♥

^ i haven't put that in a while. tehe.

I can't stand another day inside this house. ♥

Jade Louise Freeman.

My best friend of all.

I love you so frigging much.

You mean everything.

♥

All of the stars are fading away, just try not to worry. ♥

I bloody love this girl. ♥
Emma Louise Durbridge, best friends for 4 years? i think so.
xx

I'll plant you the seeds of a tree, so you can start your climb away from me. ♥

So theres not really that much to say about today, but Caitlyn wanted me to write a blog.
So i'll start with two apologies, that'll mean nothing to you but mean a lot to me.

To Jack: i'm sorry about today, truely. I actually wish i went today, because it doesn't sound like you've had a brilliant day. And you know, i would've tried to cheer you up. I love you:)

To you aswell as you: to both of you, i'm truely sorry. for everything i've put you through. i'm such a bitch it's unreal. i dont know what i was thinking, i love you both, unbelievable amounts.

I love my brother. ridiculous amounts. he honestly means so much to me.
I suppose our relationship really is quite strong, for a brother and sister.
And i suppose he makes up for mike not liking me, haha.
I love you so much, chrissy. ♥

So Caitlyn Allen, eh? what a babe. I love you, you absolutely gorgeous thing :) xx

Futures- The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
i've been listening to this song a lot recently, and it'll never get old.
it's such an insane song.

Anyway guys, i'd better leave you to it. Caitlyn's gotta go, ya know? ;)

until next time. ♥

p.s. i walked to sainsburys on my own today and tripped over a rock whilst some man laughed at me, i soon realised i'd cut my toe open. D: and its proper nommable.
this is a very relevant piece of information to enter into my blog. muahaha

I belong to you and you are beautiful. ♥

"not to be a slutty whorey shitbrain."
- Wild child. ♥

I love days where you can just sit and watch movies for ages without getting bored.
I love days when i'm with my best friend and we laugh at the most stupid things.
I love days when i spend countless hours with my family, just because i can.
I love days when i'm in the best of moods and have a smile that doesn't come off my face for the whole day.
I love days where i can just chill out and honestly feel like i'm above the world.
I love my life.

No-one can ruin how much i honestly love my life right now.

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar. ♥

I love playing guitar. ♥

Lets talk this over, it's not like we're dead. ♥

I suppose i'm just being stupid.
I suppose i'm just being immature.

I suppose i'm just being unbelievable.

I suppose i'm just being completely spoilt.

I suppose i never expected you to feel anything.

I suppose i love you.

♥

Angels fall to the floor, like they would if I was captain. ♥

I can't even explain how tiring today was.
Maths. Science. R.S. Science. English.
Actually kill me now.
It's so unbelievably boring.
I hate Physics and Chemistry, with a great passion.

So, i'm feeling rather shitty today. For a 3 reasons.
Firstly, I honestly feel like she hates me right now.
Whatever I do, and whatever I say. She just seems to kind of, overlook me.
I'm fed up with being the person that gets the bad looks.
And the bad thing is, I know exactly what i've done wrong, but I can't stop it.

I love you. And i'm so sorry.

Secondly, things just generally don't seem to be going right recently.
Not feeling too good about anything and i'm starting to get fed up with everything.
I need something exciting to happen.
I need a holiday.

And lastly, i'm so confused about, just everything at the moment.
I'm not enjoying anything.
I think the question here is, what the hell is wrong with me?

I just need to get away.
Enough of my depressed self.

until next time. ♥

B-o-o-t-y, three over average girls calling three under average guys. ♥

There really isn't that much to say about today.
So i'm gonna mention some people that really mean a lot to me right now.

• Jade Freeman-
  My best friend. In the whole world.
• Jack Junor-Graham-
  You mean mega loads to me. Best friend.
• Connor Langham-
  You, my friend, are a tank. Always here, my lovely.
• Charlie French-
  You can always count on me, I won't let you down.
• Alisha Harney-
  You cheer me up, always. My so-called 'shining star.'
• Caitlyn Allen-
  Always there when I need someone to talk to. You're beautiful.

I love you guys too much.
I couldn't wish for better people to be in my life.
P.s. Caitlyn, you're actually really tight, but i'm just generally a nice person, this is why i included you in this. But to be quite honest, you're evil. Muaha, I love you.

until next time.♥

I wanna see your peacock. ♥

So, i'm pretty sure people aren't really bothered if i blogged or not yesterday, but like i said i wanted to keep to this.
I went to London again yesterday to watch a show, the Railway Children.
It was alright, but rather disappointing. Thats all i did yesterday anyway so there was no need for this blog. But i thought i might aswell just blend it in with what i did today.
So, i started year 10 today.
And i've realised, i seriously need to get my head down.
I'm looking forward to doing the stuff i actually want to do, instead of stupid subjects that mean nothing to me.
I also found out my results of my GCSE module for Biology and Chemistry.
The exams i took in June.
I'm pretty glad with what i got, i know an F in Chemistry isn't exactly amazing, but considering i want to be a nurse, i'm pretty pleased with the B in Biology.

Loveloveloving life at the moment.
And sometimes i think why i even wasted my breath on you. You 3 mean nothing to me now. I honestly can't believe i've lost such a good friend, but i'm glad i'm not friends with you, because of the person you've turned into. Considering we're the ones who made you who you are, you honestly are taking the piss. But i can't be bothered, with any of you anymore.

So i'd like to concentrate on the people that mean everything to me.

Enough from me, enjoy your evening.

until next time. ♥

You're my undercover lover, you get your kicks for free. ♥

Today was average. Woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of lil' Jade Freeman talking to herself. But when we woke up in the morning, she informed me that it was actually me talking in my sleep, do not know how this is possible but anyway. We took a beautiful drive into Windsor this morning with Mumma and Lesley. And then split up to do our own thing. I took Jade into Hooters to see the splendid musical instruments. She had a thrilling experience paha. We walked to McDonalds and were in there for about 20 minutes just deciding what to get. We practically got a meal between to of us. I got a burger, Jade got chips. We had to save room for our shakeaways. So I love shakeaway. Seriously one of the best shops ever invented. I first had one when I was with my cousin, when I was about 10/11? I love her for showing me what they are :) Moving on, we went and tried some fudge in the fudge shop and then walked back, found my mum and got our shakeaways. Thats basically all that happened in Windsor. Then we came back to mine and me and Jade decided to go to South hill. Gorgeous day. Gorgeous place. Why not? We were there for an hour or so. Then came back. We took Jade home and I played guitar, once again :) Thats my day really.

Playing guitar makes me happy.
Music makes me happy.

Gigs make me happy.
Friends make me happy.
Family make me happy.
You, make me happy.

until next time. ♥