We try and run away, but end up running back. ♥

I absolutely adore you.

Like to pieces.

You're the most amazing person ever put on this planet.

My reason? You make me smile so much, I can't even put into words.

You're so so lovely to me and I couldn't wish for anyone better to be in my life at the moment.

I've been such a shit friend to you and I need to repay you so much.
So I'm always here for you. Like whenever you need me.

Your hugs make me so happy and AHHHH I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH :3

Like you don't even understand how much!

I love you. I love you. I love you. SO much.

Thank you for everything, you don't understand how much I appreciate you.

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVEYOU. ♥

Blast from the past. ♥

I love the fact we're best friends again.
There's nothing I've wanted more then that for ages now.

I'm so happy.

You really are like so amazing. And I forgot how amazing you are.

I never want to lose you again. I know everything about you and vice versa. You could destroy my life in a second if you wanted to. I've always had a fear that you'd leave me because I'm not worth your time or worries. And you never did leave me, we just grew apart. But now we're back together and I'm never letting go again. ♥

And don't you ever apologise for the past again because it's all my fault and I never deserved you.
I love you to absolute pieces and I wouldn't be anywhere without you and everything you've done for me. I'm always here for you, I promise you.
I love you so much boy, you're everything <3

well it's been days now and you change your mind again. ♥

all the cracks in the walls reminds you of things we said, and i could tell you that i wont hurt you this time; but it's just safer to keep you in this heart of mine.

so considering i once again haven't blogged for a bit. i came up with another subject to blog about so i thought i'd go for it.

confusing yourself.

yeah, it sounds ridiculously stupid. how can you confuse yourself?

but it's actually simple. telling yourself one thing then telling yourself another thing that contradicts the last thing.

yeah. i've confused myself once again so if anyones actually reading this i'm sure you'll be completely confused too.

but i've been telling myself i like this person. then another person.

the first person literally stood on my heart and crushed it into the floor. they couldn't have been more harsh to me.

the second is amazing. makes me feel happy, makes me do this :3 and just makes me love them because of their out right loveliness.

so any normal person would say the second one. why am i confused?

muuh. writing this bllog. has just confuzzled me even moaar.

bluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :3

this doesnt make sense.

baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :') ♥

I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about. ♥

i literally haven't blogged in like forever.

not that anyone would actually care.. buutt considering i used to blog like twice every day its a big change. i suppose i just haven't really had anything to blog about. i always just write a load of shit that no-one wants to read about. but i suppose this time i do have an actual subject.

knowing something you don't want to know.

i'll start from the beginning, i think its a suitable place to start.

if someone needs someone to talk to, to lean on, to trust. i'm here. like for anyone. i love listening to peoples problems and trying to help them. i love being trusted because i know i can be. but when someone tells you something, and it's not what you want to hear or not what you were expecting to hear. you don't exactly feel comfortable. it's made me feel like, i shouldn't know it. even though it's not a second-hand story, it's from the person involved. i can't help thinking about it, like yeah it might not be a big deal to you.. but it's ridiculous. i know it's coming to a halt now so i can relax, but it's made me think about how i deal with things. how people could be more mature about things or man the fuck up and tell the truth. opinions are opinions and every has as much right to have one as the next person.. but when it's not fair it's just not okay.

anyway, i suppose this is it really. when i get a brainwave i'll write another blog :'3

♥

I don't know what it is but I love you. ♥

So recently I've been talking to possibly the nicest boy you could ever come across.

This boy has been through more shit then anyone I know and is possibly one of the strongest people ever. He's incredibly amazing and deserves an unbelievable amount of respect. Although I haven't know him for years and years, I already know that he's someone I can put all my trust into. And I hope he feels the same about me. At the moment, there's nothing I want to achieve more then making him happy. Because that's what he deserves to be. Enough about describing this amazing kid... this is straight to you:

You're possibly one the best friends anyone could ever acquire. In the short space of time I've been talking to you, you've helped me so much and recently I don't know how I would've gotten through things without you; a huge struggle would have been involved. You're absolutely lovely and you deserve the most beautifully perfect girl in the world. I know a lot of people have been cocks to you recently and I just think that you should ignore them, because obviously they don't appreciate what a good friend you are. You've been through a lot and I know that. I want to help you the best I can and I want you to know that I'm always here for you. Through absolutely everything. You're amazing and you shouldn't let anyone tell you differently.
I love you so much, bestest. :'3 ♥

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but these grazed knees mean nothing at all. ♥

You, my dear, are what most would call pathetic.

One of the things I actually like about myself is that I think I can be a good friend.

And for you to say I'm a bad friend to one of the best friends I've ever had, is actually sort of heartbreaking.

Thank you for basically ruining the only thing I like about myself.

Thank you for knocking my self confidence down, even further. Not that I knew it was possible.

Thank you for making me feel like an awful friend to not only her, but every other one of my friends.
Thank you for making things even harder for me.

Thank you for making me feel like utter shit.

You don't know half the stuff going on in my life, so how about you stop making things harder for me when that was something I actually believed in myself for. Thanks again.

Move, move closer. ♥

I can't believe how much of a bitch I am.

So today I heard the worst rumour of my life.
I never listened to rumours, because quite simply, I don't give one shit.

I heard my best friends name. -instantly indulged-

..then I heard the only person I can truly say I hate's name.

These two names together in a sentence didn't sound good.
But until the words 'got' and 'off' were involved. I was steaming.

I couldn't believe it. But throughout the day, the rumour started becoming more and more true.
My best friend then showed me something that practically proved it was untrue. But I was still unsure about it. I don't know why.

I was so upset. Like all day. Not even because it was that girl. But because I didn't want my best friend to get hurt. And to have a rumour spread about him that he was clearly upset about.

I was such a bitch for believing it. For believing petty girls over him.
I love him to pieces. ♥

Consider yourself one of my best friends. ♥

Jade:

I know I'm possibly the worst friend you could have. I've never been through any of your problems so I can't tell you what to do when you need help. We're probably the most different pair anyone could find. But we have our similarities. Our love for twister lollies, dib dabs, fudge, creme eggs, (yeah it's mostly food haha), walking, the smell of rain after it being sunny, our insane discovery about how after showers we always find hair in our knickers. The list could go on :') You're the best friend anyone could possibly have. Even though we have our differences, you know that there won't be a time where I won't stand by you. I am always always here for you. And I truly mean that. Seeing you upset is one of the worst things I can witness and seeing you cry is actually painful. We've been best friends for a good 3 and a half years now, but it feels like I've known you for a lifetime. I still remember the first time we went out together in year 7, you in your emo outfit, strolling round town. Then we get outside the pub and the sign says 'no dogs allowed' and you say 'you're not allowed in there.' Or the first time you came round mine and we had a BBQ and my mum was really pleased because you got me to eat lettuce. You're completely the most beautiful person I've ever seen and stupid jealous slags can back off when saying you aren't a model. Because lets be honest, you have more then a fair share of potential. You're so so amazing and I love you more than anything on this planet:) Never leave my side, I wouldn't be half the person I am without you. ♥

such a shit week. in the past 4 days of school i've been in for 2 hours, and that was for my exam. i actually feel so awful. :(

crappy day time tv doesnt make me happy.

i always wait for you to come online to make me happy.

but at the moment, not even thats making me happy.

especially when you are like this.

dear chest pains, please go away. you're not needed. and i know you're here to tell me how much i love him, but you're not helping the situation.

dear stupidly ridiculous illness, stop making me feel sick every morning. i am not pregnant, so run to someone who is and make them ill in the morning.

dear day time tv, please get better. sitting at home ill all day is bad enough as it is, without having no choice of tv whatsoever. daily politics or agatha christie? hmm.

dear one tree hill, i've watched you once before this week. i've now fully caught up with everything from being off these past 3 days. monday please hurry up so i can watch the new series.

dear you, please stop giving me the wrong impression. your mood changes so quickly and so rapidly that it makes me unbelievably upset.. hense the chest pains.

good-day, blogger.

im off to watch a bugs life, jungle book, arthur then scooby doo :) ♥

I'm not that girl. ♥

I know for a fact I'm not a perfect person.
But I want to be perfect for you.
And I'll change whatever you want me to, just so I can try and be perfect for you.

I actually love you so much.

Like I said in my last blog, I'm not sure what it is.. but you've got me.
I am.. for you. I don't want to be anyone elses.

Please let me be yours?

I love you, you gorgeous lovely amazing perfect boyyy ♥

Somethings never change.

There's something about you.
Maybe it's your outgoing personality, your cute compliments, or the way you never fail to add 'gorgeous' onto the end of a sentence.
Whatever it is it's made me incredibly fall for you.
Whenever I see you I just want to hug you and never let go.
I <3 youuuu

All that's left is my heavy breathing. ♥

Totally haven't posted on here for a while.

Just posted the biggest rant on my private blog.

About some cock :)

Anyway, I must actually watch Inception with Jade now. As this is the 2nd time I've played it tonight and the only thing I've heard is 'penetrate.'
Selective hearing fo' da winnn ♥

It's a shame you don't know what you're running from. ♥

I always fall for the wrong people.

For me there's always someone I'm worried I lose. I mean there's a lot of people I'd be heartbroken over if I lost them. But for me, there's one in particular.

I haven't known this person for years and years and years. But this doesn't mean that I don't know them. They know me more then anyone does. For the 6 months I've known you, you've made the biggest impact on my life then anyone ever has done. You've changed me for the better.

You're too amazing to be human, you're like an angel that's been placed on this earth just to be amazing. You've helped me through literally everything and I can't explain what I'd be like, now, without you.

I really wouldn't be able to cope if I lost you.

And I know I'm annoying.. my daily questions being 'do you hate me?' 'am I still your favourite?' 'will you be my best friend forever?'
But I'm not trying to attention seek etc. I'm just trying to make sure that there's not the slightest possibility of losing you. Because despite what you might think, you are 1000000x more amazing, lovely, perfect then I am. And you being friends with me is like some sort of unbelievable honour.

I love you. I know I tell you this a lot too, but I do. You mean an awful awful lot to me. And I can't even begin to explain how heartbroken I would be if I lost you.

Never leave me please, my gorgeous best friend. ♥

It's better if you don't understand. ♥

2nd June- 18 days;

my birthday. going shopping, then for dinner in London with my mumma and Jade, going to see Wicked and then staying over in London. can't wait to have a lovely couple of days with two of my favourite people ever!

16th August- 93 days;

going to see Bruno Mars with my mumma, Chris and Katy at the Hammersmith Apollo. Bruno Mars is just literally amazing, and i'm going with some amazing people. not even bothered if they aren't good seats, I mean. B. R. U. N. O. M. A. R. S ;oo yayayay

19th August-96 days;

going to Croatia with the famalam: hello crystal clear beaches! haven't been on holiday with everyone from my fam in a couple of years, considering Mike's just been a grump and refused to go haha. but this time.. he's going! can't wait.

23rd December-222 days;

my bestest ever Aunty's wedding. to the person she has been engaged to for 18 years. so happy for her. this date last year, she was in chemotherapy; beating breast cancer. i don't know where i'd be without her and i'm just super excited.

i can just tell this year's gonna be a good one.

this stuff is what's making me want to pass my exams. happinesss

Today I don't feel like doing anything, nothing at all. ♥

LiFE tonight, made me decide that i'm going to change.

I need to change.

• I'm going to be happy; I had a massive conversation with Jade walking home today. And it made me realise that I'm generally a happy person. I'll be upset, but boom as soon as I have company, I can't help but be happy. I want to start going out with my friends more, and spending time with my family after coming in from school; rather then walking in and going straight to my room to 'socialise' on the internet. I'm fed up with being so boring and addicted to my laptop. I miss just having fun and being with my friends and family.
• I'm going to stop judging people; I hate it when people judge me, so I'm going to stop saying 'eurgh look at her', 'she looks like a tramp', 'why is he doing that?', 'what if he mugs me?' People could be thinking the same about me; so why don't I just stop and not sink down to their level? Judging is pathetic and wrong. No-one should be judged because of the story you heard about them, a rumour going around or the way they look. It's immature, but everyone does it. I want to stop that. I want to change myself and stop judging people because of their looks. 'Most of us are the same, just messed up people who all make mistakes.'
• I'm going to stop telling people how sad I am on the internet, writing depressing blogs and pretending to be moody at someone so they leave me alone. I'm happy, so why am I writing depressing blogs about not getting a boy? I don't need a boyfriend. I'd like a boyfriend. A lovely, attractive, comical boyfriend. But there's no need. It's not like I can't live without one. I'm 14. I need to focus on my GCSE's and being a nice person. Not being 'loved' by a certain boy. I'm going to be myself and not let anything get to me.
• I'm going to really try my best in every exam I sit. I'm going to revise and be happy. Homework. Exams. Revision=Boredom. But.. it's going to make me happier in later life, so why not try my best? I'm positive; nothing can change that. I'm a happy, bubbly and helpful person.
• I want to listen to everyone's problems, even if I have my own. I love having someone to depend on, so I know how it feels. I'm willing to help anyone, whatever the problem. So even if you don't want to talk to me in person or whatever, you can always do it in confidentiality. Click here for my formspring and you can just click the anonymous button and ask me for some advice. I like helping people, so feel free:)

I'm happy. A happy person.
Hello new but old Emma. :D ♥

Lucky there's a family guy. :3

Theres always going to be that person that you don't get on with, but you just have to deal with it.
If there's anything I've learnt in my life so far, it'd be the fact I'd rather spend an hour talking to a boy about xbox then I would bitching with some girls I don't get on with. I'm fed up with girls, I really just can't be bothered. Boys are the way forward broseff.
What would I do without my lovely boyzzz?
Jack. Charlie. Daniel. Alex. <3
I love you galdems:3

you know what? fuck the hell off.

I fucking cba.

On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. ♥

you. you're getting right on my tits. 'scuse my french.

1. you just expect people to follow your rules. 'dont call her by that' 'dont do that' 'dont swear.' who are you to tell people what to do? you're so rude. so blunt. no-one likes it. you're not in control of anyone.

2. you act as if you're frigging obsessed with your best friend, how about you step back because everyone's sick of it. just because she's your best friend doesn't mean you know her the best. 'OH NO, SHE JUST SAYS THAT.' how about you let her be what she wants to be and stop being such a controlling bitch?

3. how dare you accuse me of something i didn't even do. i ask you if you believe me and you're ridiculously blunt and rude. you don't believe me. but it wasn't me. it was someone you wouldnt expect that done it. but im not going to dob them in because im not pathetic. you see me as some pathetic shit stirring bitch. and despite what other people might think, i am not.

rant over;goodbye.

If I fall for you, would you fall too? ♥

DANIEL:

my ridiculously incredible best friend. i love spending time with you because it literally makes me so happy. i trust you with my whole life, i really do. i can't even explain how much you mean to me, because i'd be completely lost. you're always there when i need to be cheered up, and with my crazy hormones; this is a common occurence. it means ridiculous amounts to me, so obviously i'm always here for you. i'll always attempt to make you happy, but being me, i'm not particularly sure i'll be able to. even though, you're never unhappy haha! you're truly amazing and i couldn't wish for a better best friend. i don't know how you can be friends with someone like me, but it means a lot. i love you. ♥

I haven't blogged for a while, probably because I've been super busy these holidays.

I'm so happy, I've got closer to the people I care about and need. And I'm super happy.

Sometimes I throw around the words 'best' and 'friends' but these are the friends i truly do need;

♥ Jade Freeman.

♥ Alex Emery.

♥ Daniel Sergent.

♥ Louise Stemp.

♥ Kate Allwright.

♥ Charlie French.

♥ Jordan Davis.

i love you, i truly do. you're my everything. <3

i bladdy love my family too. ♥

such a good week with my chums. bring on next week! ;3 xxx

It's gonna be a bumpy ride. ♥

So i saw the Hoosiers live at my school on thursday! Most incredible day ever; they were too good. They were literally like my childhood inspirations and then they come to my school, play and I meet them? Man, such a good day. ♥

I love how i've become closer with older friends recently, starting with;

Louise Stemp; me and her were literally besties:') in like year 7/8. And we kind of drifted. We got other friends, you move on, as you do. And it's funny because the whole reason for us becoming closer is the fact we live closer together. We spend more time together and i just love her to pieces:') such a babe. Love playing the xbox with her:') And being in her tutor for the past 4 years has had it's ups and downs, we've been sick of each other but no-doubt-about-it made up. I love this chick always. Means ridiculous amounts to me ♥

Alex Emery; this kid is an absolute gem! Love him to absolute pieces. We've been friends for nearly what.. 12 years? But obviously, considering we've been friends for that long, we found different friendship groups. But now everyone's just kind of blended in together, it's got us a lot closer. I sit next to him in a few lessons and we literally just banter our way through maths + science :') I've had a couple of heart-to-hearts with him recently. And it's literally such a relief that I know I have someone to talk to. Take, this morning, we met up and literally spoke non-stop for like 1 hour-2 hours? It makes me so happy to know I have such an amazing person in my life. I love hiiim ♥

Charlie French; We've only been friends for what.. 11 months. But I feel as if we drifted tremendously because of him but I'm glad we're best friends again. I know you're always there to cheer me up. You mean incredible amounts to me and I honestly hope you realise that. You're actually amazing and you need to know that! You deserve the best girl in the whole entire universe. Never ever ever want to lose you, seriously don't know how I'd cope without you. I'm always here for you, whenever you need me. As you've always been there for me, I need to return the favour;) I love love love love love you so much charlezz, foreverr! ♥

Throw ourselves against the wall. ♥

So we have this petty little argument.

you get pissed off with me for a pathetic reason.

I hate being in stupid little arguments.

Therefore decide to be the bigger person and apologise.

No reply? Cool. i'll try once more.

Your reply is OK thanks? really? are you joking?

When i'm the one who technically shouldn't even be apologising because logically, i didn't do anything wrong. and you say thanks?

In the future, i won't apologise.

Fair enough you have more important problems at the moment, but surely by making up and apologising to me too, you would have another friend you know you could rely on to be there for you?

fed up with being treated like a shit friend, when all i've ever done is be there for people. sound a bit stuck up now but i don't mean it like that. just girls eurghh. I could just stab them

so glad i have boy best friends to count on, when things get bitchayyy ♥

Will I shake this off, pretend it's all okay? ♥

Charlie William French

What an actual babe. You literally are just completely amazing. No other word to describe you with. You mean more than a lot to me. So I've known you for what.. 11 months? And I've literally trusted you completely throughout that whole time. So, so glad we started talking. You literally make up a part of my life and if you left, that'd be truly taken away from me. You can't let anyone tell you differently, YOU ARE INCREDIBLE. I truly mean that. I have so many memories with you, and just thinking about them now, has got me smiling like a fool at my laptop screen.You've always been there for me since the first time we spoke, and that means so much to me. I'm always here for you, through everything, I promise. You deserve such an amazing girl, but you've just gotta wait around until you find her. You mean so much to me, that I couldn't even express in words. I know, over the past 11 months, I've had my problems and you've had yours. But I'd like to think I've helped you through some of your problems, because you've sure helped me through some of mine. You're so adorable, with your little dimples and smile! ;) Oh and your hugs make me happy ♥ Never leave me, boy! I wouldn't let you go without a fight and you'd be dragging along part of my life as you left! I love you always :3

You've made your bed, so sleep in it. ♥

I'd like to say a few things.

1. I really really need you. I don't see how everything could change so much, when nothings even happened? I miss you. I seriously just want you back.

2. How about you calm the hell down? You go all rage on everyone and make them feel bad when really it's your fault. But then you blame it all on that person like you've done nothing wrong? you're not the innocent one here, so stop making out that you are.

3. It's amazing how far we've actually drifted. like we don't even know each other. like, we are barely friends. i'd prefer if you'd just break it to me gently, rather then just BOOM. not friends. i hate this.

4. How about you treat her like she deserves to be treated? she's the only person i know that i can truly count on, and you're throwing her around like she's a piece of shit. it's pathetic. I know a thousand people that would happily treat her better then you are.

5. I just love you. never leave me please? :(((

6. I've seriously found a new friend in you, literally don't want to lose you. you're too amazing and cheer me up so easily :') never leave?

7. you're the one i could never be mad at, you're so amazing. never ever ever want to lose you. i trust you with my life. ♥

Just a day, just an ordinary day. ♥

casually gonna put my english story in here because i dont know what else to write :3 it's rough and not finished yet but heyyy, why not haha. oh and it's based on the poem 'Stealing.'

The most unusual thing I ever stole? A snowman. The clock struck midnight, as I piled on my woolly winter clothes. I tiptoed out into the icy, nearly unbearable weather. As I started my trek to my destination, huge breezes stormed at me, stinging my face. I now wish I'd worn a few more layers. After questioning whether I should turn back or not, I realised my trek was over. I had arrived. As the realisation hit me, I was immediately sent into a trance. And then I saw it.

He looked magnificent; a tall, white mute beneath the winter moon. He was beautiful, every inch of him was perfect. The head, the body, the features. I'd never seen a snowman that would've taken so much time and effort to develop. BANG! I kicked off it's head. It dropped to the ground in millions of pieces. It was just a pile of snow on the floor. I placed the stones and the carrot, that created it's face, on top. It was as good as new. I picked up the mountain of snow. It was unbelievably heavy; it's freezing body against mine. A fierce chill ran through me; piercing my gut, my heart. Most people would wonder what I achieve from ruining people's happiness and I never have a valid answer.

Life's tough; for me, for everyone. I wanted children to know what it felt like to be me. To feel my pain, my suffering, my guilt, my dream. I wanted them to know what it was like to have tried your best in life and never achieved anything. I was born to lose. I wanted them to know what it feels like for your parents to practically give up on you. I wanted them to know what it feels like when your parents have been nothing but constantly let down and disappointed by you. I wanted them to hurt. I wanted them to feel invisible and as if they didn't have anyone to count on. As if they were alone.

Sometimes I steal things I don't need; it's not a must. It's become almost a routine for me. I'll break into an innocent person's warm home and rummage through their belongings. I sometimes see an odd camera lying around. I'll even often pinch it, just to take a look through what I don't

have; memories. Seeing people's gleaming smiles in picture after picture, some what fills the space that, for me, has never been filled. I'm a mucky ghost. I make a mess, leave and no-one would ever reveal my identity. No-one ever knows it's me. I walk past a mirror in a strangers bedroom and see my murky reflection. A reflection that I hate to look at; one I can't keep my eyes on for longer then a couple of seconds. I can't stand to look at myself and what I've become.

I had to reassemble the snowman. I couldn't just leave it there; broken, reflecting myself. I didn't like it so I would never leave anything in the same position. It took me a lot of effort, but I didn't care how long it took me, it's not like I didn't have enough time. I don't care what I spend my time on anymore, I'm just throwing it away. I'm wasting my life, just waiting for the day when I don't have a care in the world anymore. The snowman didn't look the same; I stood back and took a run at it. I booted it's torso, over and over again. Until I was standing alone amongst lumps of snow, sick of the world.

My reason for stealing? Boredom. There's nothing else to it. When you're a kid; you'd never expect, in an odd 10 years, to be living your life a fail, a fraud. I've lived the past 10 years of my life, as nothing. No-one. I've never meant anything to anyone. And being alone in this world, leads to boredom. Boredom of your self, and the extent of your life. You start talking to yourself, going crazy almost. I'm all over the place and there's nothing I can do. I was born this way. I was born to lose, to be unloved. I've never felt wanted, needed, loved. Nothing. I stare at myself in my smashed mirror, I look up and down at the blank, expressionless creature looking back at me. You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor. ♥

This is seriously getting unbearablee.

AHHH WHAT AM I DOING? :((

I ♥ youuu.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel so out of place.

YAY FOR THE DANCE SHOW ON THURSDAY. or nawtt. so do not want to do it. :((

MUUUHHHHHHH.

kill me nowwwwwwwwwww :3

oh hai attention seeker..

its like a grabbing machine, grab grab grab

the prizes are bowls of attention,

and you're grabbing at it and winning everytime.

because no-one see's past your innocent look.

its pathetic, grow up.

you're not the only one that's got problems in their life. maybe your problems are worse then mine, but theres no need to try and 'beat me' everytime. its ridiculous. how about you understand that i have feelings? coool

Your pain is painful and it's tearing me down. ♥

Actually had. the best night. with my bff everrr ♥

so funny :') and random... :3 but i luff herrr!

makes me smile so much it's unbelievable :') proper made my week ehehe

I don't want to miss one kiss, I just wanna be with you right here with you. ♥

Want you to love me. ♥

It's hilarious because I really can't be bothered anymore.
I know I'm not exactly perfect, but I expected better from you.

This isn't exactly what I planned.
I just want to go to sleep literally. like, sleep for ages. Because I wouldn't mind being away from everything. Whenever something goes right. bang. something brings that back down. So depressing and so unlike me. I want you back plz. I don't like this new person. :((

On a happy note, I love summer. Like, I prefer being cold to being hot. Snuggling up when you're freezing. But summer? Summer's my favourite season.

I love the way it doesn't get dark till half 8/9.

I love the way you can just walk for hours and not get bored.
I love the way I don't care what anyone thinks and just be an idiot.

I love the way ice creams become my breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I love wearing polo shirts to school :')

I love sunglasses.

I love sweaty sleepovers. ;]

I love the smell of sun-tan lotion.

I love drinking relentless because you need the energy after sweating so much.

I love my friends and chilling.

summersummersummer:3 ♥

oh & much needed sleepover with georgia ratford on friday? i cant frigging wait. :)) ♥

Oh, it's what you do to me. ♥

Girl tonight you look so pretty.

I'm pretty content; i'm not ecstatic but not like i was saturday.

mann that was an awful day. non-stop crying and crying down the phone to my best friend which nearly made her cry is not good D: felt so depressed. but i'm okay now, so i'm gonna get off this depressing subject.

I can't actually believe what good friends i've found in people. actually fxck half of my old friends, they don't give a shit. they're just interested in the latest gossip- you need to realise that that's not exactly what i want right about now. you need to get over yourselves and realise gossips nothing important, its so bitchy and immature. but on a positive note, the new friends are absolutely amazing. theres only one 'old' friend that i can count on. she's been there through everythaang.

ma main wuunz;

-jade louise freeman; i know sometimes we don't act like the best of friends in school, but you really are the only friend that's stayed constant. we haven't had an argument for ages and when we do i can't put up with not talking to you :') thank you for everything, you amazing girl. im always here for you. i ♥ you

-georgia emily grace ratford; you're actually ridiculously incredible, i feel as if everytime i see you my whole weeks craziness just piles out. i can truly just be myself around you, which i am around most of my friends, but its just different with you because you act exactly the same. you're so important to me you wouldn't even believe. you're beautiful and you deserve to be shown off a bit more! i ♥ you

-daniel sergent; absolutely amazing. i've spoken to you for like a month and i already know how incredibly fascinating you are. you've already helped me through so much i can't even explain. you mean so much to me, no homo;) i'm always here for you, as you deserve me to return the favour ehee. you're amaze. i ♥ you

oh. & i ♥ my boyfriend :3 ehehe, but i'll write a separate blog about yourself tomorrow. :))

People in love get special treatment.

Damn, I can't believe it. ♥

I'm such an idiot, I've ruined everything..

They say she's in the class A team ♥

Mr Daniel Sergent;

You are possibly one of the nicest boys I've ever come across. I mean, you're so polite, amazing, trustworthy, reliable, happy and outgoing. Literally I swear whenever I speak to you, your happiness rubs off on me. You're constantly happy and it's actually unbelievable. You're incredible. And this week you've increased my confidence so much. I've never met someone like you, you're completely one of a kind. I don't usually put my trust in people so quickly, but I really do trust you. You're so understanding and that's incredible. You really are amazing. And you deserve the most perfect girl in the world. You're hilarious and you make me so happy :') I look forward to Friday's to see you and your adorable dimples aha. Bff fo' life boyyy! I love you. (:

♥

She's stuck in her daydream ♥

This is going to sound so desperate but I just want someone to tell me they love me. I feel so.. un-loved. I suppose is the word. Cool

And the sun, will set for you. ♥

I love my private blog :')

Nothing matters to you anymore, does it? You don't give a shit.

I told one of my friends why I was upset, and I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe how much this meant to him. How annoyed he was because of you. But it's impossible for me to just walk away because I can't leave you. Not alone. :(

Daymmmmm. Life=bitchhh. ♥

If it matters at all. ♥

I love kids in glass houses.

I've decided i'm gonna make a private blog. A blog where I can put exactly what i'm thinking.

A blog where I can tell the truth.

I will still post on here.
But I want the other one to be private. And it'll stay that way.

Goodnight. ♥

For better, for worse I got you. ♥

I am so depressed all the time.

I hate it.

:@

So much for my happy ending. ♥

Shittest day in my life. :'(

1. My first and most upsetting reason of being upset today.

2. The fact you speak to me like a piece of shit actually makes me feel so ridiculously small. How dare you actually treat me like that? You have no right to. But you made my day worse when really I don't need to bother about you, because you mean nothing to me anymore.

3. Thanks for noticing? when you're the only one I wanted to notice; the only one I wanted a hug from.

Crying in enterprise was seriously a rare occasion for me. I hate crying at school in front of tonnes of people, so normally i lock it up.

emma morgan; thank you. literally. thank you for noticing. thank you for giving me the hug I badly needed.

emma durbridge; thank you for talking to me. just what I needed too. 'I've never seen you so upset before!' - was a specific quote I remember from you. even that made me smile.

I love you both ridiculous amounts, I hope you know that. ♥

All I've ever wanted is you. ♥

Just what i needed, cheerz.

FFFFFFFFFFFSS :@ I'm such an absolute twat.

Kill me now?

cool.

:'(

Made a wrong turn, once or twice. ♥

So so angry right now.

I mean, i haven't been this angry for a long time.

My insides, feel as if they're being eaten bit by bit by cockroaches.

My whole body, feels inflamed.

My head, is pounding to the beat of my depressing music.

My heart, feels as if it's being crushed.

But why? I don't have a flipping clue.
I have a slight reason, but nothing that i'd usually be angry at.

I don't know what i'm doing? I don't know why i feel like this? Please go away.

I'll leave the door on the latch, if you ever come back. ♥

Oh my, have I been worried all day? I so have. At least i know everything now. i'm so proud of you. and that sounds so patronizing. but if i was in your position, i'd literally just break down for the whole endurance. you're so amazing and she definitely doesn't deserve you. i hope everything goes your way from now on, because you completely deserve it. i'll always be here for you, beautiful. and i'll always be there to attempt to make you happy. ♥ I love you alwayzzz, gorgeous.

+ i hope you and him get together soon because you both deserve someone amazing.. which quite frankly is eachother. I luff you both very much; forever ♥

fankoo xo

Time slows down, whenever you're around. ♥

Can you feel this magic in the air? It must've been the way you kissed me.

iincredible day. ♥

repping da zoo tomoz with zee fam & chilling with ma main galz gee rat & jfreemz on friday. then a weekend full of revision yayyy.

i love how i can't tell anyone? you should be able to tell atleast one person your deepest darkest secrets, right? well i can't, not naaow anywayy :(

i can't wait to go back to school. that sounds so stupid, because ive got exams, revision, and crappy teachers on my back. but i love spending even the shortest amount of time with him everyday. and i love spending moments with friends that i never see in the holidays. i somewhat enjoy school. just not the actual.. learning part? i love dramama, with ma creww, ehe :3 ♥

thats enoughh for todayy :) fairwell young ones, good luck on your questsss xx

♥

Listen to your heart, there's nothing else you can do. ♥

'Giving advice, when you're in need of some too.'

..mm.

I'm glad i gave advice this evening, i'm hoping it started something worthwhile.

I've always loved you. and that's not going to change just because of this.

I'm looking forward to a lovely day with my gals tomorrow/today, hopefully it'll take my mind off of things.

Oh my golly do i want you right now? yes, yes i do. wish i could be with you for every moment of my life. everythings so much better when you're around.

'time slows down, whenever you're around.'

I love you- always have. always will.

♥

Then I just shut my eyes then I can't see. ♥

So this incredibly brave man spoke at LiFE today.
He was absolutely amazing. He spoke about his life.
Even though I'm 14 and he is 45, his speech made me think how much I've thrown 'fml' around. And quite frankly, how ridiculous I've acted towards the smallest of things.
I've acted like a complete spoilt bitch and thrown anger around because I can't get my own way. Adrian(security guard♥)had every right to be angry. And If I was in his position with any of his situations, I wouldn't be able to cope. I seriously don't know how he kept it together on the stage, as some of the things he said actually made my heart stop. It was so devastating. What a brave, inspiring, incredible man. So so so much respect for him for getting on the stage and letting an odd 300 people, that he barely knows, his life story. He prayed for me & I prayed for him, yayy ♥

On the happier side, I had an incredible night with my crew.
Gratz, Arutz, Jfreemz, Jaffa, Hellbellz, Cwyzz etc ♥ i love you

I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away. ♥

Sometimes trying to understand just isn't enough.
I really fell like i'm letting you down.
But all i've ever wanted is to have, even a rough, understanding.
I'll never stop trying to understand you.
I'm sorry for letting you down.



On a happier note, I love my boyfriend.
Eeeee! ♥

It's better if you don't understand. ♥

Such an insane night with my crewww.
Geo, ruttarz, urbaan + freemss. <3

Also some extra additions such as Daniel sergent & daniel jones. luffin they're dancing. what baabess ♥

I love yoouu guuys (:

Tomorrow with my duurrbsyy & maybeeh jackithh :D Yayyay

luff eet.

goodniight bloggaa ♥

Just stop for a minute and smile, why is everybody so serious? ♥

I want you.

I only want you.
I only want you forever.

I only want you forever because you make me ridiculously happy.
♥ I completely love you.

It ain't easy, growing up in world war 3. ♥

It's amazing how two people can make your weekend perfect. ♥

Many more of them please & thank you.
But now it's the week.
Mm, school. Yay? nay. So much work, it's ridiculous. DIEDIEDIE (:

Lovely walk home today ;) only took me & jack 2 and a half hours :') with a stop off at the park of course.

♥ Jackkkk, jadee, georgiiaa, aliciiaaa, emilayy & durrbss. I luff you

I wish today it will rain all day, maybe that'll kinda make the pain go away. ♥

Best day ever with my best friend. ♥ Love that girl to bitsss!

Full of spandex pants, my bathroom and white mice. Mmm best mixture ;)

oh to youuu, I'm sorry.. ♥

Now to watch casualty with my mumma <3

Picture, you're the queen of everything. ♥

So I'm laying all cushty in my marshmallow duvet, watching Young Victoria and talking to my favourite people? I love my life.

Webcam with the boyf.
Bitching with emily urbz.
Banter with georgia ratford.
and planning with jade freeman; CAMBERZ TOMORROW.

I love all of you. Extreme amounts. Stay in my life, foreverrr!! ♥

Don't let me go, don't let me go. ♥

Please. Don't let me go.

so it's my 100th post? YAY.
I would like to keep this short and sweet still.

I love my life. I couldn't wish for better people to be in it.
Mum, Dad, Chris, Mike, Carol, Hevs, Terry, Dave, Gran, Jade, Jack♥, Georgia, Emily, Alicia, Alex, Emma, Alisha, Beth, Ashleigh, Katy, Courtney, Alex, Kate, Fudge, Harvey, Louise, Maria, Patrick. I love you. Every one of you. You are amazing. (:

Thank you fellow bloggers.

Goodnight.

xx

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. ♥

Likes & dislikes.

Likes

Cold days where you can snuggle up

hot chocolate
warm summer days

spending time with the family
my effin' amazing friends
my amazing boyfriend; long cuddles, kisses, holding hands

watching films all snuggley :3

going to life and seeing ma crew such as geerat 'n' aliciaruttarz

being an immature prat

lazy days

listening to music and relaxing

crying

laughing and being happy

CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

my laptop, phone and ipod

chats with my ratford, urban and freeman

family guy (PETER GRIFFIN♥)

bruno mars and ellie goulding

going to my bruvva's gigs

Dislikes

Slutty little girls who need to learn that it is possible to close their legs.

the fact relationships can overrule friendships and family.

feeling invisible

crying

being an immature prat

feeling unwanted/unloved

being accused of things i haven't done

liars

two-faced girls

arguments

I fink that's about it. random ehehe.

I love JACKKKK♥ ratford, ruttarz, urban & freeman.

:D xxx

Runaway baby, before I put my spell on you. ♥

I'm bad news. Don't get yourself involved with me, because I'm bound to f*ck up.

what the actual f*ck?

I need you more then I've needed anything, ever.

Apart from food

or water

or maybe even oxygen

but I need you. please. I can't lose you.

♥

It's shaun the sheep. ♥

Dear Emily Urban.

I'm sorry. But I can't deal with this. Not now.
I want you to love me. No more, no less.
I needed you, but I can't live a pretend life.
I'll always be yours, but at the moment? I'm better off without you.

I will love you forever. Once again, I'm sorry.
You'll always be the perfect person for me.

Love from,
Your dear friend Kewlz.

♥

Baby baby please don't go away. ♥

"I love you so, that's what you'll say
You'll tell me, baby baby please don't go away"

For once I just want to feel like I'm useful? Like I have a point here? Like I'm someone? Like I'm worth it? Please. I am so sorry. I know I'm not perfect. But I need you.

I love you. ♥

Today I don't feel like doing anything, I just wanna lay in my bed. ♥

I feel sorry for her, you know. She's so understanding, but accepts everything you do with the click of some fingers. She really is special & so caring and I know you do know that.
She cares about you. She wants you to be happy. She wants to be happy herself.

I care about you. I want you to be happy. I am happy, but I think I would be happier if I knew where I stand with you.

I love you. I love both of you. But, please just don't do anything stupid.

We just don't want you to get hurt.

-On a different note, thank you so much for being my friend. It means the world. I love you to the moon and back. I'm sorry ♥

I guess the change in my pocket, wasn't enough. ♥

I love my life.
Fxck the haters.

♥

I'd do anything for ya'. ♥

Mmm.. (:

Jackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjackjack ♥ I love you.

Easy come, easy go that's just how you live. ♥

BIFFY CLYRO ♥ BRUNO MARS ♥ ELLIE GOULDING.

oh yh kl. ignored? not wanted? invisible? mhm, niice onee.

-sigh- for once, please? no? ok.

muuuhhhh I love you.. is that not enough?

No, she doesn't know what she's missing. ♥

♥ I love your laugh. I love your smile. I love the way you laugh at everything I say even if it's not funny. I love how you're always there. I love that I can talk to you about anything. I love the way you can talk to me about anything. I love how I'm completely comfortable around you. I love how I can be myself in front of you. I love how you've never judged me. I love how you're hilarious. I love how we are alike in so many ways. I love your incredible personality. I love your voice. I love it when you say my name. I love how you're not embarrassed of me. I love our hugs. I love holding your hand. I love your company. I love your unique taste in music. I love your lanky-ness. I love it when you play with your hair. I love how cute you are. I love waking up to texts from you. I love your sense of humour. I love your hate for certain people. I love your obsessions. I love how you're a complete perfectionist. I love how we both watch CBBC and Disney channel. I love spending time with you. I love how I never run out of things to say to you. I love how you completely amaze me. I love how whenever I'm sad you can always say the right thing to make me happy. I love every single thing about you and I wouldn't change you for the world.

I'm just a teenage dirtbag baby. ♥

"This must be fake, my lip starts to shake. "

I actually love you so much.

Never let go ♥ ..please?

E L L I E GOULDING.

i love my friends.
i love music.

i love having people to rely on.

i love banter.

i love my boyfriend

<3

Sorry, is all that you can say. ♥

1) Just for once could you notice that I actually have feelings and I'm sick of this? No? ok.

2) I love you? :'(

3) You don't need me, but please don't leave me. I'd be nothing without you. I love you..

Never let go. ♥♥♥

Everytime you go, oh oh oh oh oh. ♥

(all in the tune of Ding Dong Merrily on high)

mum:

'ding dong merrily on high-'

me:

'mum its not christmas anymooore'

mum:

'ding dong verily the sky-'

me:

'shut up you dirty-'

mum:

'WHOREEEEEEEE'

Dear mother,

even though you were one of the reasons i was upset this evening. you've got yourself off of the case. thank you for making me smile and laugh tonight, i dont know what id do without you. you absolute lemon

love you foreva ol' ladyyy ♥

You never call me when you're sober. ♥

Yeah, I wasn't have a particularly good day anyway, so thanks for making it worse.

I'm a total wreck. I need to sort this out to be honestttt

Hormones can diiieee.

Yeah I should stop blogging before I become even more depressing.
Maybe I should just go to sleep.
K. Bye.

You're so worth it, you are. ♥

being the most depressing day of the year, i was happy for the majority of it.. well, until now. but i feel ridiculously ill so i'm guessing that's why i feel down. i've done a lot of these on blogs, but i just wanna do a couple of shout-outs. ♥

J.A.J.G:

you, are bloody amazing. you make me smile. bestfriend, boyfriend, rock. you've been there always and it means a lot. - ily darl' ♥

G.E.G.R:

haven't known you for that long, but i know you inside & out and vice versa. you mean a lot & i'm always here lovely. - ily gorgeous ♥

J.L.F:

the best friend. you're original. not at all simple, boring or uninteresting. i suppose that's what i like about you. - ily beautiful ♥

you guys are so amazing.. i love you so much. [L]

soHappiii (:

Everytime I close my eyes, I see my name in shining lights. ♥

Skins ♥

Emily: "I can just see it now, in lights 'Naomi, get to know me'."

Naomi: "I thought it was quite catchy."

Emily: "Yeah well, so's aids."

Phahaha. I luv Emily :')

I love my life, so so so good :D ♥

Until you see me in your dreams, we'll stay awake beneath the trees. ♥

Get the hell out of my life, you two-faced pathetic little girl.

Move, move closer, maybe you can right all your wrongs. ♥

E L L I E G O U L D I N G ♥

actually proper in love with this beaut at the moment.

I wish to see her in concert please :)

ohohoh, I feel so weird at the moment. I'm tired like, all the time and I can never be bothered to do anything D: gaaah.

I'd appreciate it if you spoke to me once in a while? I want to be noticed by you. Just on the odd occasion. Is that too much to ask?.. please? cheers luuuv.

I love life apart from that though.

misterr jackk, mmm you're my favourite ♥

cccccontent :D + randoooom ehe!

xx

You're the risk I'll always take, the only branch I'll never break. ♥

I realised today that I hadn't written my new years resolutions on here. So here you go;

1. Don't lie. Whether it's a white lie or a huge one, don't.

2. Cut down the bitching. Honestly, bitching makes a girl, so I can't say I'll cancel it out completely.

3. Lose weight. Start diet on the 1st February and lose atleast a stone by Carol's wedding (23rd December.)

4. Make this work. We've been through a lot from the start, and this time I don't want to lose you.

There you go :D Wish me luck with them please.. ♥

Plenty of girls, and boys in love. ♥

Had a lovely weekend with jade so far. Watched Little Fockers at the cinema today with Ryan & tom, yeah it was average.. Now watching Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging with freems:) her sleeping over again then chill tomorrow.

I love my best friend. [L]

MmJackjackjack ♥

Doesn't matter what may come my way. ♥

Oh. Dear. What. Is. Wrong. With. You.

Excuse me, but.. what does anything have to do with you?

You're an idiot. Why are you getting so worked up about it?
Obsessive. Get over it. You need to, otherwise you're not gonna get anywhere. Cheers fo'dat.

laaav!

xx

We'll always find him in the kitchen at parties. ♥

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not a size 0. I'm sorry my skin isn't tanned. I'm sorry my boobs don't touch my chin. I'm sorry my skin isn't spotless. I'm sorry I don't act my age. I'm sorry I don't wear short skirts and tight dresses. I'm sorry I eat too much. I'm sorry I have 'love handles.' I'm sorry my nose isn't straight. I'm sorry my eyes aren't beautiful. I'm sorry my build isn't girl-like. I'm sorry I'm short when I'm with my friends, but tall at home. I'm sorry my manners aren't up to scratch. I'm sorry I don't look like a supermodel. I'm sorry I don't like the 'mainstream music.' I'm sorry I'm not your stereotypical 14 year old girl. I'm sorry I'm not perfect.
I'm sorry, but this is who I am. This is me.
Take it or leave it.
Love,
Emma Louise Cooley.

♥

I'm stuck on a boy, who fills me with joy. ♥

You think you can bitch about me behind my back to everyone then come back and face me like nothings happened? It's not that easy, thanks. :):)

I love my life. tis swish :D
I love da peeps in my life because they are amaze.

that is all hehe!

lovelovelove ♥

Your grandma and my grandma sitting by the fire. ♥

I am happy.

Mother nature, you are screwing me over. get. out.

You.. please let me know the truth. I'd be even happier then.
Going to Brentford tomorrow to see my friends.. can't wait :)

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY. ♥

xx

I whip my hair back and forth. ♥

So I feel a little rant coming on.
I want to know.. why 13/14 year olds think it makes them amazing to get drunk? I mean, you're children. It's actually pathetic, the amount of 'drunk' statuses I saw last night that contained misspelt words and extra letters. And then also the amount of statuses moaning about the drunk statuses.
Is your life really that bad that you have to get drunk? I'd rather have a good night and remember it. Yeah.. I don't have a problem with drinking, I don't see why not. But at 13? Really?

I mean first of all, it's illegal. And secondly, it's horrifically bad for you. Children get drunk more easily then adults and it effects you with more strength. I can't see why that is in anyway appealing?

I'd rather drink Dr Pepper and stay up until 6 o clock in the morning talking with my best friend, then be passed out at half 11, and not even making it till midnight for the new year.. because of drinking too much.
Rant over.
Happy new year guys! Hope you all had a good night :)

♥