We try and run away, but end up running back. ♥

I absolutely adore you.

Like to pieces.

You're the most amazing person ever put on this planet.

My reason? You make me smile so much, I can't even put into words.

You're so so lovely to me and I couldn't wish for anyone better to be in my life at the moment.

I've been such a shit friend to you and I need to repay you so much.
So I'm always here for you. Like whenever you need me.

Your hugs make me so happy and AHHHH I JUST LOVE YOU SO MUCH :3

Like you don't even understand how much!

I love you. I love you. I love you. SO much.

Thank you for everything, you don't understand how much I appreciate you.

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVEYOU. ♥

Blast from the past. ♥

I love the fact we're best friends again.
There's nothing I've wanted more then that for ages now.

I'm so happy.

You really are like so amazing. And I forgot how amazing you are.

I never want to lose you again. I know everything about you and vice versa. You could destroy my life in a second if you wanted to. I've always had a fear that you'd leave me because I'm not worth your time or worries. And you never did leave me, we just grew apart. But now we're back together and I'm never letting go again. ♥

And don't you ever apologise for the past again because it's all my fault and I never deserved you.
I love you to absolute pieces and I wouldn't be anywhere without you and everything you've done for me. I'm always here for you, I promise you.
I love you so much boy, you're everything <3

well it's been days now and you change your mind again. ♥

all the cracks in the walls reminds you of things we said, and i could tell you that i wont hurt you this time; but it's just safer to keep you in this heart of mine.

so considering i once again haven't blogged for a bit. i came up with another subject to blog about so i thought i'd go for it.

confusing yourself.

yeah, it sounds ridiculously stupid. how can you confuse yourself?

but it's actually simple. telling yourself one thing then telling yourself another thing that contradicts the last thing.

yeah. i've confused myself once again so if anyones actually reading this i'm sure you'll be completely confused too.

but i've been telling myself i like this person. then another person.

the first person literally stood on my heart and crushed it into the floor. they couldn't have been more harsh to me.

the second is amazing. makes me feel happy, makes me do this :3 and just makes me love them because of their out right loveliness.

so any normal person would say the second one. why am i confused?

muuh. writing this bllog. has just confuzzled me even moaar.

bluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :3

this doesnt make sense.

baiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii :') ♥

I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about. ♥

i literally haven't blogged in like forever.

not that anyone would actually care.. buutt considering i used to blog like twice every day its a big change. i suppose i just haven't really had anything to blog about. i always just write a load of shit that no-one wants to read about. but i suppose this time i do have an actual subject.

knowing something you don't want to know.

i'll start from the beginning, i think its a suitable place to start.

if someone needs someone to talk to, to lean on, to trust. i'm here. like for anyone. i love listening to peoples problems and trying to help them. i love being trusted because i know i can be. but when someone tells you something, and it's not what you want to hear or not what you were expecting to hear. you don't exactly feel comfortable. it's made me feel like, i shouldn't know it. even though it's not a second-hand story, it's from the person involved. i can't help thinking about it, like yeah it might not be a big deal to you.. but it's ridiculous. i know it's coming to a halt now so i can relax, but it's made me think about how i deal with things. how people could be more mature about things or man the fuck up and tell the truth. opinions are opinions and every has as much right to have one as the next person.. but when it's not fair it's just not okay.

anyway, i suppose this is it really. when i get a brainwave i'll write another blog :'3

♥

I don't know what it is but I love you. ♥

So recently I've been talking to possibly the nicest boy you could ever come across.

This boy has been through more shit then anyone I know and is possibly one of the strongest people ever. He's incredibly amazing and deserves an unbelievable amount of respect. Although I haven't know him for years and years, I already know that he's someone I can put all my trust into. And I hope he feels the same about me. At the moment, there's nothing I want to achieve more then making him happy. Because that's what he deserves to be. Enough about describing this amazing kid... this is straight to you:

You're possibly one the best friends anyone could ever acquire. In the short space of time I've been talking to you, you've helped me so much and recently I don't know how I would've gotten through things without you; a huge struggle would have been involved. You're absolutely lovely and you deserve the most beautifully perfect girl in the world. I know a lot of people have been cocks to you recently and I just think that you should ignore them, because obviously they don't appreciate what a good friend you are. You've been through a lot and I know that. I want to help you the best I can and I want you to know that I'm always here for you. Through absolutely everything. You're amazing and you shouldn't let anyone tell you differently.
I love you so much, bestest. :'3 ♥

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but these grazed knees mean nothing at all. ♥

You, my dear, are what most would call pathetic.

One of the things I actually like about myself is that I think I can be a good friend.

And for you to say I'm a bad friend to one of the best friends I've ever had, is actually sort of heartbreaking.

Thank you for basically ruining the only thing I like about myself.

Thank you for knocking my self confidence down, even further. Not that I knew it was possible.

Thank you for making me feel like an awful friend to not only her, but every other one of my friends.
Thank you for making things even harder for me.

Thank you for making me feel like utter shit.

You don't know half the stuff going on in my life, so how about you stop making things harder for me when that was something I actually believed in myself for. Thanks again.

Move, move closer. ♥

I can't believe how much of a bitch I am.

So today I heard the worst rumour of my life.
I never listened to rumours, because quite simply, I don't give one shit.

I heard my best friends name. -instantly indulged-

..then I heard the only person I can truly say I hate's name.

These two names together in a sentence didn't sound good.
But until the words 'got' and 'off' were involved. I was steaming.

I couldn't believe it. But throughout the day, the rumour started becoming more and more true.
My best friend then showed me something that practically proved it was untrue. But I was still unsure about it. I don't know why.

I was so upset. Like all day. Not even because it was that girl. But because I didn't want my best friend to get hurt. And to have a rumour spread about him that he was clearly upset about.

I was such a bitch for believing it. For believing petty girls over him.
I love him to pieces. ♥

Consider yourself one of my best friends. ♥

Jade:

I know I'm possibly the worst friend you could have. I've never been through any of your problems so I can't tell you what to do when you need help. We're probably the most different pair anyone could find. But we have our similarities. Our love for twister lollies, dib dabs, fudge, creme eggs, (yeah it's mostly food haha), walking, the smell of rain after it being sunny, our insane discovery about how after showers we always find hair in our knickers. The list could go on :') You're the best friend anyone could possibly have. Even though we have our differences, you know that there won't be a time where I won't stand by you. I am always always here for you. And I truly mean that. Seeing you upset is one of the worst things I can witness and seeing you cry is actually painful. We've been best friends for a good 3 and a half years now, but it feels like I've known you for a lifetime. I still remember the first time we went out together in year 7, you in your emo outfit, strolling round town. Then we get outside the pub and the sign says 'no dogs allowed' and you say 'you're not allowed in there.' Or the first time you came round mine and we had a BBQ and my mum was really pleased because you got me to eat lettuce. You're completely the most beautiful person I've ever seen and stupid jealous slags can back off when saying you aren't a model. Because lets be honest, you have more then a fair share of potential. You're so so amazing and I love you more than anything on this planet:) Never leave my side, I wouldn't be half the person I am without you. ♥

such a shit week. in the past 4 days of school i've been in for 2 hours, and that was for my exam. i actually feel so awful. :(

crappy day time tv doesnt make me happy.

i always wait for you to come online to make me happy.

but at the moment, not even thats making me happy.

especially when you are like this.

dear chest pains, please go away. you're not needed. and i know you're here to tell me how much i love him, but you're not helping the situation.

dear stupidly ridiculous illness, stop making me feel sick every morning. i am not pregnant, so run to someone who is and make them ill in the morning.

dear day time tv, please get better. sitting at home ill all day is bad enough as it is, without having no choice of tv whatsoever. daily politics or agatha christie? hmm.

dear one tree hill, i've watched you once before this week. i've now fully caught up with everything from being off these past 3 days. monday please hurry up so i can watch the new series.

dear you, please stop giving me the wrong impression. your mood changes so quickly and so rapidly that it makes me unbelievably upset.. hense the chest pains.

good-day, blogger.

im off to watch a bugs life, jungle book, arthur then scooby doo :) ♥

I'm not that girl. ♥

I know for a fact I'm not a perfect person.
But I want to be perfect for you.
And I'll change whatever you want me to, just so I can try and be perfect for you.

I actually love you so much.

Like I said in my last blog, I'm not sure what it is.. but you've got me.
I am.. for you. I don't want to be anyone elses.

Please let me be yours?

I love you, you gorgeous lovely amazing perfect boyyy ♥

Somethings never change.

There's something about you.
Maybe it's your outgoing personality, your cute compliments, or the way you never fail to add 'gorgeous' onto the end of a sentence.
Whatever it is it's made me incredibly fall for you.
Whenever I see you I just want to hug you and never let go.
I <3 youuuu

All that's left is my heavy breathing. ♥

Totally haven't posted on here for a while.

Just posted the biggest rant on my private blog.

About some cock :)

Anyway, I must actually watch Inception with Jade now. As this is the 2nd time I've played it tonight and the only thing I've heard is 'penetrate.'
Selective hearing fo' da winnn ♥

It's a shame you don't know what you're running from. ♥

I always fall for the wrong people.

For me there's always someone I'm worried I lose. I mean there's a lot of people I'd be heartbroken over if I lost them. But for me, there's one in particular.

I haven't known this person for years and years and years. But this doesn't mean that I don't know them. They know me more then anyone does. For the 6 months I've known you, you've made the biggest impact on my life then anyone ever has done. You've changed me for the better.

You're too amazing to be human, you're like an angel that's been placed on this earth just to be amazing. You've helped me through literally everything and I can't explain what I'd be like, now, without you.

I really wouldn't be able to cope if I lost you.

And I know I'm annoying.. my daily questions being 'do you hate me?' 'am I still your favourite?' 'will you be my best friend forever?'
But I'm not trying to attention seek etc. I'm just trying to make sure that there's not the slightest possibility of losing you. Because despite what you might think, you are 1000000x more amazing, lovely, perfect then I am. And you being friends with me is like some sort of unbelievable honour.

I love you. I know I tell you this a lot too, but I do. You mean an awful awful lot to me. And I can't even begin to explain how heartbroken I would be if I lost you.

Never leave me please, my gorgeous best friend. ♥

It's better if you don't understand. ♥

2nd June- 18 days;

my birthday. going shopping, then for dinner in London with my mumma and Jade, going to see Wicked and then staying over in London. can't wait to have a lovely couple of days with two of my favourite people ever!

16th August- 93 days;

going to see Bruno Mars with my mumma, Chris and Katy at the Hammersmith Apollo. Bruno Mars is just literally amazing, and i'm going with some amazing people. not even bothered if they aren't good seats, I mean. B. R. U. N. O. M. A. R. S ;oo yayayay

19th August-96 days;

going to Croatia with the famalam: hello crystal clear beaches! haven't been on holiday with everyone from my fam in a couple of years, considering Mike's just been a grump and refused to go haha. but this time.. he's going! can't wait.

23rd December-222 days;

my bestest ever Aunty's wedding. to the person she has been engaged to for 18 years. so happy for her. this date last year, she was in chemotherapy; beating breast cancer. i don't know where i'd be without her and i'm just super excited.

i can just tell this year's gonna be a good one.

this stuff is what's making me want to pass my exams. happinesss

Today I don't feel like doing anything, nothing at all. ♥

LiFE tonight, made me decide that i'm going to change.

I need to change.

• I'm going to be happy; I had a massive conversation with Jade walking home today. And it made me realise that I'm generally a happy person. I'll be upset, but boom as soon as I have company, I can't help but be happy. I want to start going out with my friends more, and spending time with my family after coming in from school; rather then walking in and going straight to my room to 'socialise' on the internet. I'm fed up with being so boring and addicted to my laptop. I miss just having fun and being with my friends and family.
• I'm going to stop judging people; I hate it when people judge me, so I'm going to stop saying 'eurgh look at her', 'she looks like a tramp', 'why is he doing that?', 'what if he mugs me?' People could be thinking the same about me; so why don't I just stop and not sink down to their level? Judging is pathetic and wrong. No-one should be judged because of the story you heard about them, a rumour going around or the way they look. It's immature, but everyone does it. I want to stop that. I want to change myself and stop judging people because of their looks. 'Most of us are the same, just messed up people who all make mistakes.'
• I'm going to stop telling people how sad I am on the internet, writing depressing blogs and pretending to be moody at someone so they leave me alone. I'm happy, so why am I writing depressing blogs about not getting a boy? I don't need a boyfriend. I'd like a boyfriend. A lovely, attractive, comical boyfriend. But there's no need. It's not like I can't live without one. I'm 14. I need to focus on my GCSE's and being a nice person. Not being 'loved' by a certain boy. I'm going to be myself and not let anything get to me.
• I'm going to really try my best in every exam I sit. I'm going to revise and be happy. Homework. Exams. Revision=Boredom. But.. it's going to make me happier in later life, so why not try my best? I'm positive; nothing can change that. I'm a happy, bubbly and helpful person.
• I want to listen to everyone's problems, even if I have my own. I love having someone to depend on, so I know how it feels. I'm willing to help anyone, whatever the problem. So even if you don't want to talk to me in person or whatever, you can always do it in confidentiality. Click here for my formspring and you can just click the anonymous button and ask me for some advice. I like helping people, so feel free:)

I'm happy. A happy person.
Hello new but old Emma. :D ♥

Lucky there's a family guy. :3

Theres always going to be that person that you don't get on with, but you just have to deal with it.
If there's anything I've learnt in my life so far, it'd be the fact I'd rather spend an hour talking to a boy about xbox then I would bitching with some girls I don't get on with. I'm fed up with girls, I really just can't be bothered. Boys are the way forward broseff.
What would I do without my lovely boyzzz?
Jack. Charlie. Daniel. Alex. <3
I love you galdems:3

you know what? fuck the hell off.

I fucking cba.

On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. ♥

you. you're getting right on my tits. 'scuse my french.

1. you just expect people to follow your rules. 'dont call her by that' 'dont do that' 'dont swear.' who are you to tell people what to do? you're so rude. so blunt. no-one likes it. you're not in control of anyone.

2. you act as if you're frigging obsessed with your best friend, how about you step back because everyone's sick of it. just because she's your best friend doesn't mean you know her the best. 'OH NO, SHE JUST SAYS THAT.' how about you let her be what she wants to be and stop being such a controlling bitch?

3. how dare you accuse me of something i didn't even do. i ask you if you believe me and you're ridiculously blunt and rude. you don't believe me. but it wasn't me. it was someone you wouldnt expect that done it. but im not going to dob them in because im not pathetic. you see me as some pathetic shit stirring bitch. and despite what other people might think, i am not.

rant over;goodbye.

If I fall for you, would you fall too? ♥

DANIEL:

my ridiculously incredible best friend. i love spending time with you because it literally makes me so happy. i trust you with my whole life, i really do. i can't even explain how much you mean to me, because i'd be completely lost. you're always there when i need to be cheered up, and with my crazy hormones; this is a common occurence. it means ridiculous amounts to me, so obviously i'm always here for you. i'll always attempt to make you happy, but being me, i'm not particularly sure i'll be able to. even though, you're never unhappy haha! you're truly amazing and i couldn't wish for a better best friend. i don't know how you can be friends with someone like me, but it means a lot. i love you. ♥

I haven't blogged for a while, probably because I've been super busy these holidays.

I'm so happy, I've got closer to the people I care about and need. And I'm super happy.

Sometimes I throw around the words 'best' and 'friends' but these are the friends i truly do need;

♥ Jade Freeman.

♥ Alex Emery.

♥ Daniel Sergent.

♥ Louise Stemp.

♥ Kate Allwright.

♥ Charlie French.

♥ Jordan Davis.

i love you, i truly do. you're my everything. <3

i bladdy love my family too. ♥

such a good week with my chums. bring on next week! ;3 xxx