Do you care if I don't know what to say? ♥

You put on a happy face and you think to yourself that everythings gonna be alright. But you know you don't feel like yourself. When everyone thinks you're happy, you're not. All you want is for someone to realise that you're not feeling great but not ask you whats wrong, just for them to give you a huge hug. And you pretend that all you want for them is to be happy, but really you just wanna be happy yourself.

I hate it. I hate not being the 'Emma Cooley' everyone knows as being hyper, always smiling, happy and the weird one. I love being labelled as that, don't ask me why, but I do. What I don't like is feeling like the opposite of that, but putting on a happy face to make other people think you're like normal.
I'll put on a smile at school. I'll try to act like what I act like normally. But then I get home. I get home and I know I can just show my feelings. Whatever they are. And I sit there. I sit there staring into space, just thinking. Thinking about how things could be, then coming out of the trance and facing reality. Getting up in the morning, going to school and pretending to be the person I'm not again. The person I usually am, but right now, it's like someone's taken my soul out and replaced it with a potato. Lifeless. Completely and utterly lifeless. It's crazy.
But I want to be happy. I suppose being at school does make me happy, because trying so hard eventually makes it real. I try so hard that I feel like normal. I just act as if everythings normal, even for a minute. But then, it hits me. It hits me that I don't feel like me. I don't feel like Emma Cooley 'the weird, hyper, smiley, happy' one. I feel like Emma Cooley the robot clone.
Someone make me happy? I'll love you forever.

Someone make me feel like Emma Cooley? I'll love you forever.

Someone make him realise that I'm here? I'll love you forever.
Someone make my best friend realise that I love her? I'll love you forever.

Someone make him realise that it can't be like this anymore? I'll love you forever.

Someone make my best friend acknowledge the fact I know her better then anyone? I'll love you forever.